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Billy West Quotes

Total quotes: 78
“...death is life's great reward!”
— Ren Höek (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 5: Terminal Stimpy / Pen Pals
“They grow so fast, then leave ya. You just hope you raise them right.”
— Ren Höek (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 5: I Was a Teenage Stimpy / Who's Stupid Now?
“I wave my shiny red keister in the face of you, and your superstitions!”
— Ren Höek (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 4: Superstitious Stimpy
“Get in there and get my meat!”
— Ren Höek (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 4: Superstitious Stimpy
“Boy, Ren, if you think you're happy now, wait'll you hear this! It's a record of my favorite song!”
— Stimpson J. "Stimpy" Cat (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 1: Stimpy's Invention
“Ahem. Ladies and gents, I give you... the Cheese-O-Phone! Now we can talk to cheese, anywhere in the world, regardless of their foreign tongues! Uh, go ahead Ren. Say something in... Limburger.”
— Stimpson J. "Stimpy" Cat (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 1: Stimpy's Invention
“I wanted to see what a regular, normal person did on a date, but I had to settle for Judy.”
— Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie (voice), Doug, Season 4: Doug's Bum Rap
“Doug Funnie: [narrating] Somewhere around the eight drum solo, I realized I wasn't having fun anymore.”
— Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie (voice), Doug, Season 3: Doug's Garage Band
“Roger: [holds up a pair of polka-dot briefs] Here, Funnie, put these on.

Doug: No thanks, Roger. I'm wearing my own underwear.”
— Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie (voice), Doug, Season 2: Doug Battles The Rulemeister
“Skeeter: What's going on in there Doug?

Doug: [peers through Beebe's window to see Porckhop and the girls doing the limbo] You wouldn't believe me if I told you.”
— Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie (voice), Doug, Season 2: Doug Takes the Case
“Mr. Funnie: Look out, Bluffington, the Funnie family has arrived!

[The population sign changes to 20,001 people.]

Doug: Population 20,001. I guess the one is... me!”
— Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie (voice), Doug, Season 1: Doug Bags a Neematoad
“[Roger, who has a crush on Judy, is planning to re-enact the famous balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet.]

Roger: [about to climb ladder to the window] 
It is the sun! And... and... Judy is the East!

Doug: Psst! Roger... Roger!

Roger: [climbing ladder] It is my lady! O, it is my love! O, that she knew she were! Won't you come to the window, my love?

[Mrs. Dink lifts the window blind.]
Mrs. Dink: Nice try, Romeo. But you're about thirty years too late.

[Roger screams and falls off the ladder into the bushes.]

Doug: Our house is over there, Roger.”
— Roger M. Klotz, Doug, Season 2: Doug's Worst Nightmare
“Doug: [looking at Patti's painting] Maybe if you put a little more snow on top, and a couple more trees...


Patti: Huh??

Doug: ...Or you can leave the trees off if you want. It's a perfectly beautiful mountain just like it is.

Patti: I-I-it's not a mountain, Doug. It's my grandmother!

Doug: Huh? [examines painting more closely and notices the "peak" of the "mountain" is actually an old woman's head] Well, of course. Heh heh. Just a little... art joke, Patti.”
— Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie (voice), Doug, Season 2: Doug Battles The Rulemeister
“Roger: Trying on your costume for the big dance tonight? What are you? A pile of manure?!


Doug: I'm a slug.”
— Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie (voice), Doug, Season 1: Doug Can't Dance
“Skeeter: Wow, I've never seen a vegetarian dog before!


Doug: It's just a phase.”
— Douglas 'Doug' Yancy Funnie (voice), Doug, Season 1: Doug Bags a Neematoad
“Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV…sitting down with your kids…and hitting them?”
— Bender , Futurama, Season 4: Where the Buggalo Roam
Tagged: TV, Disconnect, hit, scolding, Parenting
“Stay away from our women. You’ve got metal fever, boy. Metal fever.”
— Bender , Futurama, Season 3: I Dated a Robot
Tagged: Dating, metal fever, Women, Obsessed
“I moved the stars themselves to write her a love note in the sky.”
— Philip J. Fry , Futurama, Season 3: Time Keeps On Slippin'
Tagged: Stars, Sky, Love, Note
“The quickest way to a girl’s bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you’re in.”
— Zapp Brannigan, Futurama, Season 3: The Luck of the Fryrish
Tagged: Bed, Girl, quick way, Parents
“You know, I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.”
— Zapp Brannigan, Futurama, Season 3: The Honking
Tagged: erotic, boobs, Woman
“Blackmail’ is such an ugly word. I prefer 'extortion.’ The 'x’ makes it sound cool.”
— Bender , Futurama, Season 2: The Deep South
Tagged: Blackmail, ugly, Word, Extortion, cool
“Good news, everyone! I’ve taught the toaster to feel love!”
— Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth, Futurama, Season 2: Raging Bender
Tagged: Good News, taught, toaster, Love
“Fry: Bender?! You stole the atom.

Bender: I can explain. It's very valuable.”
— Bender , Futurama, Season 2: Lesser of Two Evils
Tagged: Shock, Stealing, Atom, Valuable
“My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?”
— Philip J. Fry , Futurama, Season 2: A Head in the Polls
Tagged: Parents, nagging, underpants, Groom, Pope
“I never thought it would end this way, gunned down by Santa Claus.”
— Philip J. Fry , Futurama, Season 2: Fry & the Slurm Factory
Tagged: End, Gunned Down, santa clause
“Bodies are for hookers and fat people!”
— Bender , Futurama, Season 2: When Aliens Attack
Tagged: Bodies, fat, Hookers, Sassy
“Why can’t she just drink herself happy like a normal person?”
— Bender , Futurama, Season 2: A Flight to Remember
Tagged: Drink, Happy, normal person, Sassy
“Hey. What kind of party is this? There’s no booze and only one hooker.”
— Bender , Futurama, Season 1: Hell Is Other Robots
Tagged: party, Hooker, booze, Sassy
“I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring.”
— Bender , Futurama, Season 1: Fear of a Bot Planet
Tagged: planet, Wealth, Fame, sleaze
“In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces.”
— Zapp Brannigan, Futurama, Season 1: Love's Labours Lost in Space
Tagged: Game, Chess, pieces, strategy
“Hey, sexy mama… wanna kill all humans?”
— Bender , Futurama, Season 1: I, Roommate
Tagged: Sexy, mama, Kill, humans, Questions
“I’m going to build my own theme park! With blackjack! And hookers! You know what - forget the park!”
— Bender , Futurama, Season 1: The Series Has Landed
Tagged: Construction, theme park, Hookers, blackjack
“Just shut up and take my money!”
— Philip J. Fry , Futurama, Season 6: Attack of the Killer App
Tagged: shut up, Money, Take
“I don't want to live on this planet anymore.”
— Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth, Futurama, Season 6: A Clockwork Origin
Tagged: planet, live, upset
“You win again gravity.”
— Zapp Brannigan, Futurama, Season 3: Amazon Women in the Mood
Tagged: Win, gravity
“Oh wait, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder.”
— Bender , Futurama, Season 4: Love and Rocket
Tagged: serious, laugh, harder
“Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.”
— Zapp Brannigan, Futurama, Season 1: Love's Labours Lost in Space
Tagged: Made it, Woman, inform, Men
“Hooray! A happy ending for the rich people.”
— Dr. Zoidberg, Futurama, Season 6: The Mutants Are Revolting
Tagged: Hooray, Celebration, happy ending, Rich People
“It's like a party in my mouth and everybody's throwing up!”
— Philip J. Fry , Futurama, Season 3: Parasites Lost
Tagged: Simile Examples, party, Throwing Up, Mouth
“That young man fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing.”
— Zapp Brannigan, Futurama, Season 3: War Is the H-Word
Tagged: young man, Hope, emotions, Weird, deeply confusing
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