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Ron Leavitt Quotes

Total quotes: 8
“Derek: You still looking at that stupid picture?

Ricky: You call this picture stupid once more, and your tooth fairy's gonna need a wheelbarrow!

Derek: Come off it, creep-face! You told me you were gonna go live with your father and you'd never have to come back here again. Well you're here, just like I told ya... He probably took one look at you and threw you out, just like your mother did.

Ricky: You know, Derek, now I see why all your gerbils commit suicide!”
— Ricky, Silver Spoons, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: tooth fairy, gerbils, Suicide, NBC Shows
“You're a dead man. Today is the first day of the end of your life.”
— Al Bundy, Married... with Children, Season 6: She's Having My Baby
Tagged: Dead Man, Death Threat
“I don't have to fall asleep after sex. I want to fall asleep after sex. I welcome the darkness.”
— Al Bundy, Married... with Children, Season 5: Top of the Heap
Tagged: Sex, Darkness, Bad Sex
“We're gonna go where people pretend to want to go when they can't afford to go someplace good. We're gonna see America. We take no map. We'll follow the sun. Stay in cheap motels and steal what we need along the way. We go west, past the cheese factories, where the air is fresh, the sky is big, and a man can still kill his dinner with his car. Guys, tomorrow we put the pedal to the metal and we ride with the wind.”
— Al Bundy, Married... with Children, Season 5: We'll Follow the Sun
Tagged: America, Road Trips
“So you think I'm a loser? Just because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every morning when I wake up, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered-down Tang and still-frozen Pop Tart, get in my car with no upholstery, no gas, and six more payments to fight traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes on the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I thought I would. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head. But I'm not a loser. 'Cause, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what he wanted to be are still out there being what we don't want to be forty hours a week for life. And the fact that I haven't put a gun in my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner.”
— Al Bundy, Married... with Children, Season 3: He Thought He Could
Tagged: Loser, Family, Misery, Pudding, Suicide
“I mean, let's face it, even if you were beautiful—like that girl on TV—I'd still ignore ya. 'Cause you're my wife!”
— Al Bundy, Married... with Children, Season 1: Thinnergy
Tagged: beauty, Marriage, Marital Strife
“That is the problem with everything. They try and make it better without realizing the old is fine.”
— Al Bundy, Married... with Children, Season 3: Requiem for a Dead Barber
Tagged: Nostalgia, Old v. New
“Peggy: Hey Al, did ya miss me?

Al Bundy: With every bullet so far.”
— Al Bundy, Married... with Children, Season 5: We'll Follow the Sun
Tagged: Comedy Quotes, TV Quotes, Sarcasm Quotes, Marriage Quotes
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