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Clueless Quotes

“Suddenly a dark cloud settled over first period... I got a C in debate?”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: dark cloud, Debate, grades
“Wasn't my mom a total Betty? She died when I was young. A freak accident during a routine liposuction.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Mom, total betty, died, freak accident, liposuction
“Cher's saving herself for Luke Perry.”
— Dionne Davenport, Clueless
Tagged: saving herself, Luke Perry, Sex
“I was just totally clueless.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: totally, Clueless
“Cher: I'm captain of the Pismo Beach disaster relief.

Mel: I don't think they need your skis.

Cher: Daddy, some people lost all their belongings. Don't you think that includes athletic equipment?”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Captain, Pismo Beach, Disaster Relief, skis, athletic equipment
“Mel: At least he knows what he's doing. And he's in a good college. I'd like to see you have a little bit of direction.

Cher: I have direction.

Josh: Yeah, towards the mall.”
— Josh Lucas, Clueless
Tagged: College, Direction, Sassy, mall
“Josh: I think I'd really like to check out Environmental Law.

Mel: Why? You want to have a miserable, frustrating life?

Cher: Oh, Josh will have that no matter what he does.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: environmental law, Miserable, Life, Sassy, Diss
“Cher: You are such a brown-noser.

Josh: Oh, and you are such a superficial space cadet. What makes you think you can get teachers to change your grades?

Cher: The fact that I've done it every other semester.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: brown-noser, Superficial, space cadet, Teachers, change grade, semester
“Cher: 'Second notice on three outstanding tickets.' I don't remember getting a first notice.

Mel: The ticket is the first notice! I didn't even know you could get tickets without a license.

Cher: Oh, you can get tickets anytime.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Tickets, second notice, license
“Mel: Do you know what time it is?

Cher: A watch doesn't really go with this outfit, daddy.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Time, Watch, outfit
“Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Mankind, Peaceful, Violence, News, Shows, Entertainment
“Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.”
— Melvin "Mel" Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: anything happens, Daughter, killed, Miss
“Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.

Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.”
— Dionne Davenport, Clueless
Tagged: plastic surgeon, Active, balls, nose, social life, Sassy, Diss
“Cher: Been shopping with Dr. Seuss?

Dionne: Well at least I wouldn’t skin a collie to make my back pack.

Cher: It’s faux.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Sassy, Diss, Dr. Suess, faux, backpack
“(in regards to losing her virginity) You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: picky, Shoes, Feet, Virginity
“Tai: Cher, you’re a virgin?

Cher: You say that like it’s a bad thing.

Dionne: Besides, the PC term is 'hymenally challenged.'”
— Dionne Davenport, Clueless
Tagged: virgin, bad thing, hymenally challenged, Politically Correct
“Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Boy, high school, Pauly Shore movie, Simile Examples
“Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex. And anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: show skin, boys, Naked, Mouth, Sex
“Tai: Do you think she’s pretty?

Cher: No, she’s a full-on Monet.

Tai: What’s a monet?

Cher: It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Pretty, Monet, Painter, Metaphor Examples
“Cher, I don’t want to do this anymore. And my buns, they don’t feel nothin’ like steel.”
— Tai Frasier, Clueless
Tagged: buns, buns of steel, Exercise
“It’s like that book I read in the 9th grade that said, ‘Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people.'”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: book, ninth grade, Quotes, far
“Josh: You look like Pippi Longstocking.

Cher: Well, you look like Forrest Gump. Who’s Pippi Longstocking?

Josh: Uh, someone Mel Gibson never played.”
— Josh Lucas, Clueless
Tagged: Pippi Longstocking, Forrest Gump, Mel Gibson
“Josh: You look confused.

Cher: Well, uh, I thought they declared peace in the Middle East.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Confused, declared, Peace, Middle East
“I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I might never be tardy.”
— Travis Birkenstock, Clueless
Tagged: Tardiness, contributed, ride to school, mcdonalds
“Do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged?”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: prefer, Fashion, Victim
“Dionne: Dude, what’s wrong. You suffering from buyers remorse or something?

Cher: God, no! Nothing like that.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: buyers, Remorse, Suffering
“So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Guys, dress, baggy pants, greasy, Swoon
“Cher: I want to do something for humanity.

Josh: How about sterilization?”
— Josh Lucas, Clueless
Tagged: humanity, Sterilization, Sassy
“Isn’t my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: House, Classic, columns
“Mel: Where are you?

Cher: I’m just having a snack at my girlfriend’s.

Mel: Where, in Kuwait?

Cher: Is that in the valley?”
— Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Tagged: Snack, Girlfriend, Kuwait, valley, Sassy
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