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Legally Blonde Quotes

“And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Cameron Diaz, Angora Sweater, Heinous, Disturbed, Fred Segal
“[after Warner asks her out after the trial] But if I’m going to be a partner in a law firm by the time I’m 30, I need a boyfriend who’s not such a complete bonehead.”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Partner, Law Firm, Boyfriend, Bonehead
“Elle’s Mother: Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the ‘Miss Hawaiian Tropics’ contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?

Elle: Going to Harvard is the only way I’m going to get the love of my life back.

Elle’s Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don’t need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Hawaiian Tropic, Harvard, Law School, Boring, ugly, serious
“Elle: [on video essay] ...and that’s why you should vote for me. Elle Woods: future lawyer for the class of 2004.

Admissions Guy: She does have a 4.0 from CULA and she got a 179 on LSATs.

Head of Admissions: Fashion major?

Admissions Guy: Well, sir, we’ve never had one before and aren’t we always looking for diversity?

Admissions Guy: Her list of extracurricular activities is impressive.

Head of Admissions: She was in a Ricky Martin video.

Admissions Guy: Clearly, she’s interested in music.

Head of Admissions: She also designed a line of faux-fur panties for her sorority’s charity project.

Admissions Guy: Uh-huh, she’s a friend to the animals as well as a philanthropist.

Head of Admissions: Elle Woods.

[pause]

Head of Admissions: Welcome to Harvard.”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Harvard, Ricky Martin, Fashion Major, philanthropist, Faux-Fur Panties
“Emmett: I can’t believe you just called me a butthead. I don’t think anybody has called me a butthead since the 9th grade.

Elle: Maybe not to your face.”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: butthead, say it to my face
“[Elle sees David the geek trying unsuccessfully to get a date with two lovely girls, who mock him, and decides to help by making the girls think she dated David]

Elle: Excuse me.

[Elle turns around and slaps David]

Elle: Why didn’t you call me? We spent a beautiful night together and I haven’t heard from you since.

David: [pause] I’m sorry?

Elle: Sorry for what? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I’ve ever known and just taking it away?

David: Both?

Elle: Well, forget it. I’ve spent too much time crying over you.

[Elle walks away, and the girls change their mind about him]

Girl: So, when did you wanna go out?”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Misandry
“Elle: [Elle is cross-examining Chutney Windham] Ms. Windham, what had you done earlier that day?

Chutney Windham: I got up. Got a latte. Went to the gym. Got a perm and came home.

Elle: Where you got in the shower?

The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: I believe the witness has made it clear that she was in the shower.

[Courtroom audience laughs]

Elle: Yes, your Honor.

Elle: [a sudden brainstorm comes over Elle] Ms. Windham, had you ever gotten a perm before?

Chutney Windham: Yes.

Chutney Windham: Two a year since I was 12. You do the math.

Elle: You know, a girl in my sorority, Tracy Marcinco, got a perm once. We all tried to talk her out of it. Curls weren’t a good look for her. She didn’t have your bone structure, but thankfully that same day she entered the Pheta Delta Phi wet T-shirt contest where she was completely hosed to down from head to toe...

DA Joyce Rafferty: Objection, why is this relevant?

Elle: I have a point, I promise.

The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: Then make it.

Elle: Chutney, why is it Tracy Marcinco’s curls were ruined when she got hosed down?

Chutney Windham: Because they got wet.

Elle: Exactly. Because isn’t the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you’re forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the immonium thygocolate?

Chutney Windham: Yes.

Elle: And wouldn’t somebody who had, say, 30 perms before in their life be well aware of this rule, and if in fact you weren’t washing your hair as I suspect you weren’t because your curls are still intact, wouldn’t you have heard the gunshot, and if in fact you had heard the gunshot Brooke Windham wouldn’t have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which means you would have had to have found Brooke Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn’t that right?

Chutney Windham: She’s my age! Did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age?

Elle: You, however, Chutney, had time to hide the gun after you shot your father.

Chutney Windham: [Chutney is in tears] I didn’t mean to shoot him! [points at Brooke] I thought it was YOU walking through the door!

[Courtroom audience gasps]

Elle: Oh my God.”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Trial, murder trial, immonium thygocolate
“Elle: I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life. [someone whistles at her] I object!”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: legal jargon, i object, Objection
“Elle: These aren’t last season!

[looks down, gasps, runs back into courtroom]

Elle: He’s gay! Enrique is gay!”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Fashion, gay
“Elle: I just don’t think that Brooke could’ve done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands; they just don’t.

Vivian: Nice outfit.

Elle: Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Endorphins, Exercise, constipated, Frigid, Bitch
“Warner Huntington III: You got into Harvard Law?

Elle: What? Like it’s hard?”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Harvard Law, Dunning Kruger
“Construction Worker: [Whistles]

Elle Woods: Ugh, I object!”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Best of Moments, Movie Quotes, Funny Moments
“It has come to my attention that the maintance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin to generic.”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Best of Moments, Movie Quotes, Funny Moments
“Professor: Elle Woods?

Elle Woods: Oh, um, actually, I wasn't aware that we had an assignment.

Professor: Vivian Kensington, do you think its acceptable that Ms. Woods is not prepared? Would you support my decision to ask her to leave class and only return when she is prepared?”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Best of Moments, Movie Quotes
“Elle Woods: And for that matter, all masturbatory omissions where he was not seeking an egg could be considered reckless abandonment.

Professor: I believe you've just one your case.”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Best of Moments, Movie Quotes
“Unless the defendent attempted to contact every one night stand to determine if the child resulted in those unions. He has no parental claim over this child whatsoever. Why now? Why this sperm?”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Best of Moments, Movie Quotes
“Going to harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back!”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Best of Moments, Movie Quotes
“Professor: You file the claim. What next? Ms. Woods?

Elle Woods: Does she need to have evidence? Meaning you need.... a reason to believe your claim should have, like, evidentiary support.”
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Tagged: Best of Moments, Movie Quotes
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