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Shrek Quotes

“Princess Fiona: [as ogre] Donkey, shh, shh. It's me... in this body.

Donkey: [gasps] Oh, my God, you ate the princess!”
— Donkey (voice), Shrek
Tagged: Cannibalism
“[Shrek bursts into Fiona's and Farquaad's wedding] Now really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding?”
— Lord Farquaad, Shrek
Tagged: Rude, Uninvited, wedding crashing
“[to his knights] The winner of this tournament—no, no, the privilege—will have the honor of rescuing the beautiful Princess Fiona from the fiery pit of that dragon! Should the winner fail to return, the runner-up shall take his place, and so on and so forth... Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”
— Lord Farquaad, Shrek
Tagged: tournament, Winner, Dragon
“[Donkey keeps humming the 'Duloc' song]
Shrek: All right, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom.

Donkey: Sorry 'bout that.”
— Donkey (voice), Shrek
Tagged: Singing, Annoying, spanking
“Donkey: Okay, let me get this straight: you gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad'll give you back your swamp, which you only don't have 'cause he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right?

Shrek: You know what? Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.”
— Donkey (voice), Shrek
Tagged: insults, Anthropomorphism
“I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt, too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going...take drastic steps, kick it to the curb. Don't mess wit' me. I'm the Stair Master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, right now, I'd step all over it...”
— Donkey (voice), Shrek
Tagged: stairs, Threats, butt whipping
“Donkey: So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?

Shrek: Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.

Donkey: I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.”
— Donkey (voice), Shrek
Tagged: Dragon, fire-breathing, pain in the neck
“Donkey: Hi, Princess!

Princess Fiona: It talks!

Shrek: Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick!”
— Donkey (voice), Shrek
Tagged: Sick Burns, insults, talk, shut up
“[looking for a certain type of flower]
Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn't COLOR-BLIND!”
— Donkey (voice), Shrek
Tagged: blue flower, red thorns, Color Blind
“Donkey: [looks at a hovel] Whoa. Look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?

Shrek: That, would be my home.

Donkey: Oh...and it is LOVELY! You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder.”
— Donkey (voice), Shrek
Tagged: Oops, insults, hovel, walking it back
“We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles!”
— Donkey (voice), Shrek
Tagged: Sleepover, manly, Stories, Waffles
“Shrek: Ogres are like onions...

Donkey: They stink?

Shrek: Yes... No.

Donkey: They make you cry?

Shrek: Nooo!”
— Shrek, Shrek
Tagged: Funny Moments, Best of Quotes, Movie Quotes
“[While looking at a very large castle] Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?”
— Shrek, Shrek
Tagged: Funny Moments, Best of Quotes, Movie Quotes
“Shrek: I'm going to be a father, how did this happen?

Puss: Allow me to explain. You see when a man loves a woman, a powerful urge sweeps over him.

Shrek: I know how it happened!!”
— Shrek, Shrek
Tagged: Funny Moments, Best of Quotes, Movie Quotes
“My donkey fell in your waffle hole.”
— Shrek, Shrek
Tagged: Funny Moments, Best of Quotes, Movie Quotes
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