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Alice Kramden Quotes

Total quotes: 12
“Ralph: Yessir, this is the time I'm gonna get my pot of gold.

Alice: Just go for the gold, you've already got the pot.”
— Alice Kramden, The Honeymooners, Season 1: Alice's Aunt Ethel
Tagged: pot of gold, Fat-Shaming
“Ralph: For the last time, Alice, I'm telling you, I'm going for the $99,000 question.

Alice: For the last time, Ralph, I'll be very happy if you win the 600 bucks.

Ralph: $600? Peanuts, peanuts! What am I gonna do with peanuts?

Alice: Eat 'em, like any other elephant.”
— Alice Kramden, The Honeymooners, Season 1: Alice's Aunt Ethel
Tagged: Fat-Shaming
“Ralph Kramden: Now, you know I'm not that kind of a man. I'm not the kind that eats and runs.

Alice Kramden: Eats and runs? The way you eat, you're lucky you can walk!”
— Alice Kramden, The Honeymooners, Season 1: Anniversary Gift
Tagged: Fat-Shaming
“Ralph: You're the type of person that would bend way over to pick up a penny on the sidewalk. I wouldn't.

Alice: You couldn't.”
— Alice Kramden, The Honeymooners, Season 1: Christmas Party
Tagged: Cheap, Fat-Shaming
“Alice Kramden: Now you listen to me, Ralph. My mother is coming here and you're going to be nice to her.

Ralph Kramden: Be nice to her? That's impossible! We don't get along. We're enemies, natural enemies. Like a boa constrictor and a mongoose. She hates me, Alice!

Alice Kramden: Ralph, Mother doesn't hate you, that's your imagination.

Ralph Kramden: My imagination? I suppose it was my imagination the day we were married and she went around telling that joke about me!

Alice Kramden: What joke?

Ralph Kramden: You remember, you remember the joke she went around tellin' everyone about me!

Alice Kramden: No I don't remember, what joke?

Ralph Kramden: Oh, yes, you do. She ran around the reception tellin' everybody 'I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining a ton.'”
— Alice Kramden, The Honeymooners, Season 1: Six Months To Live
Tagged: Mother in Law, natural enemies
“Ralph: Just remember, you can't put you arms around a memory.

Alice: I can't even put my arms around you.”
— Alice Kramden, The Honeymooners, Season 1: Pickles
Tagged: Fat-Shaming, Memories
“Alice Kramden: Trixie hasn't had any sleep in three nights. If she doesn't get some rest soon, she's just gonna waste away to nothing.

Ralph Kramden: She didn't have any sleep in three nights? How about me? I haven't slept in three nights! She'll waste away? Don't you care if I waste away?

Alice Kramden: Yes, I care, Ralph! But you wouldn't waste away if you stayed awake for nine years.

Ralph Kramden: How would you like to waste away on the moon?”
— Alice Kramden, The Honeymooners, Season 1: Cold
Tagged: Insomnia, Fat-Shaming
“Alice Kramden: Let me tell you something. There's an old, old saying, Ralph: 'Man works from sun to sun, but woman's work is never done.'

Ralph Kramden: [snootily] Good gosh!

Alice Kramden: I'll tell you why woman's work is never done, Ralph. Because she's got the toughest boss in this whole world: a husband!”
— Alice Kramden, The Honeymooners, Season 1: Quiz Show
Tagged: Marriage, Housewives, Bossy
“Alice: Boy, you men kill me; you're all alike. You push us around. You want us to bow and scrape at your feet. All you do is yell and scream and give orders. You men just think that you *own* this world!

Ralph: Yeah, but you women get revenge. You marry us!”
— Alice Kramden, The Honeymooners, Season 4: A Woman's Work is Never Done
Tagged: Marriage, Revenge, Henpecking
“I am the only girl in town with an atomic kitchen. This place looks like Yucca Flats after the blast!”
— Alice Kramden, The Honeymooners, Season 1: Quiz Show
Tagged: Yucca Flats, Atomic Bomb, kitchen
“Ralph: [to Alice] I don't care if you've got any confidence, because I have enough confidence in me for the both of us!

Alice Kramden: You've got enough everything in you for the both of us.”
— Alice Kramden, The Honeymooners, Season 1: Lost Baby
Tagged: Confidence, Fat-Shaming
“Ralph Kramden: Whatever happened to the sweet unspoiled girl I married before? Whatever happened to that girl, Alice? You remember what you said to me before we got married? 'Ralph, I'd be happy to live in a tent with you.'

Alice Kramden: I'm still willing. I think it'd be an improvement.

Ralph Kramden: Do you wanna go to the moon? Do you wanna go to the moon?

Alice Kramden: That would be an improvement, too.”
— Alice Kramden, The Honeymooners, Season 1: The New Bowling Ball
Tagged: To the moon, married, Marital Strife
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