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Betelgeuse Quotes

Total quotes: 15
“You rang?”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Beetlegeuse, Beetlejuice, Macros, Halloween
“I'll eat anything you want me to eat. I'll swallow anything you want me to swallow. But, come on down and I'll...chew on a dog! Arroooo!”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Hunger, Gluttony
“I'm just doin' my job, besides, I thought we had a deal! Hey, it's OK. You know why? I don't wanna do business with you deadbeats anyway. The only one I think I can deal with is Edgar Allan Poe's daughter. I think she understands me.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Deadbeats, Edgar Allan Poe
“Beetlejuice: You know, you look like somebody I can relate to. Maybe you could help me get out of here, you know, because I got to tell you, this dead thing... it's just too creepy. See, here's my problem. I got these friends I said I'd meet, and it's the kind of thing where I have to be there in person, so could you help me get out of here?

Lydia: I want to get in.

Beetlejuice: Why?...You know, hey, you probably got your reasons. I can't do anything from here. If you could get me out, then maybe we could talk or something.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: creepy
“These aren't my rules. Come to think of it, I don't have any rules.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Rules, No Rules
“[a fly appears in the Maitland home, it flies onto the model of the town, then lands near the graveyard area]
Beetlejuice: [pops out of a crack] Hey! Hey, you! Hey, come here!

[fly stops, looks Betelgeuse's direction while the hands hold up a Zagnut candy bar]
Beetlejuice: Got something good for ya... Here, boy. Wanna come on over? Have a bite? Want something to nosh?

[enticed by the bar, the fly comes closer, quite hesitant...]
Beetlejuice: [laughs] Come here! [grabs the fly and pulls him into the crack, throws the Zagnut aside]

The Fly: Help me! Help me! Help meeeee! [a burp is heard]”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: zagnut, force-feeding, candy
“[to Lydia, about the owner of the finger he pulled out of a wedding ring] I'm tellin' ya, honey, she meant nothin' to me. Nothin' at all!”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: wedding ring
“Beetlejuice: I'm feeling a little, ooh, anxious if you know what I mean. It's been about six hundred years after all. I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself, can find a little action... [a brothel appears, he dances with joy] Hey Adam, nice move!

Barbara: Adam, why did you build that?

Adam: I didn't! [Adam and Barbara appear at Juno's office]

Juno: The whorehouse was my idea! I want you to get Beetlejuice out of the picture!”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Whorehouse, Anxious
“Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Rhymes, Juice, Loose
“[Trying to get Lydia to say his name three times] No, you don't need to talk to Barbara. Just SAY IT!”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Incantation, Say It
“[reading obituary] Ooh-la-la, what have we got here? The Maitlands. [laughs] Cute couple. Look nice and stupid, too! [more laughing]”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Nice, Stupid, Cute
“Lydia: Mr. and Mrs. Maitland? Hello? Where are you?

Beetlejuice: Dead. Dead, dead, deadski.

Lydia: Of course they're dead. They're ghosts.

Beetlejuice: No, I mean they're gone, split, out of here, afterlife kids, deceased—ahh.

Lydia: Are you a ghost, too?

Beetlejuice: I'm a ghost with the most, babe.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Ghost, dead
“[why he can't tell Lydia his name]
Because if I tell you, you'll tell your friends, your friends are callin' me on the horn all the time, I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a hell. Okay? A living hell.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Autographs, Hell, living hell
“Go ahead, make my millennium.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Make My Day, clint eastwood
“Adam: What are your qualifications?

Beetlejuice: Ah. Well...I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen THE EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT...NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY...NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Harvard, juilliard, black plague, The Exorcist, Zombie
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