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Bob Uecker Quotes

Total quotes: 33
“Haywood swings and crushes this one toward South America. Tomlinson is gonna need a visa to catch this one, it is out of here, and there is nothing left but a vapor trail.”
— Harry Doyle, Major League
Tagged: Home Run, south america, Vapor Trail
“Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.”
— Harry Doyle, Major League
Tagged: nose hair, party favor, Gross
“Harry Doyle: [before the playoff game] Monty, anything to add?

Color Man: Ummm...no.

Harry Doyle: He’s not the best color man in the league for nothing, folks!”
— Harry Doyle, Major League
Tagged: Cleveland Indians, color man, lackluster
“In case you haven’t noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven’t, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.”
— Harry Doyle, Major League
Tagged: Cleveland Indians, Success, cellar
“The post-game show is brought to you by...[searches through his papers] Christ, I can’t find it. To hell with it.”
— Harry Doyle, Major League
Tagged: Cleveland Indians, Post-Game, attendance, advertisers, Christ
“Just a reminder, fans, comin’ up is our ‘Die-Hard Night’ here at the stadium. Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won a pennant.”
— Harry Doyle, Major League
Tagged: Die-Hard, Cleveland Indians, Pennant
“Harry Doyle: One hit, that's all we got, one goddamn hit?

Assistant: You can't say 'goddamn' on the air.

Harry Doyle: Don't worry, nobody is listening anyway.”
— Harry Doyle, Major League
Tagged: Best Sports Movies, Goddamn
“They have Easter egg hunts in Philadelphia, and if the kids don't find the eggs, they get booed.”
— Bob Uecker, America in Quotations
Tagged: Easter Egg Hunt, Philadelphia
“I had a great shoe contract and glove contract with a company who paid me a lot of money never to be seen using their stuff.”
— Bob Uecker, If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers
Tagged: baseball, Failure
“When I played baseball I got death threats all the time–from my mother.”
— Bob Uecker
Tagged: Death Threats, baseball, Failure
“They broke it to me gently. The manager came up to me before a game and told me they didn't allow visitors in the clubhouse.”
— Bob Uecker, Great Funny Quotes
Tagged: baseball, Failure
“I would order a dozen bats and there were times they'd come back with handles at each end.”
— Bob Uecker, If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers
Tagged: baseball, Failure
“I was born and raised in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Actually, I was born in Illinois. My mother and father were on an oleomargarine run to Chicago back in 1934 because we couldn't get colored margarine in Wisconsin.

On the way home, my mother was with child—me—and the pain started and my dad pulled off into an exit area, and that's where the event took place.

It was a nativity-type setting, an exit light shining down and three truckdrivers there. One was carrying butter, one had frankfurters, and the other guy was a retired baseball scout who told my folks that I probably had a chance to play somewhere down the line.

I remember it being very cold, it was January. I didn't weigh very much—I think the birth certificate says 10 ounces. I was immediately wrapped in swaddling clothes and put in the back of a Chevy without a heater. And that was the start of this Cinderella story that you're hearing today.”
— Bob Uecker
“They said I was such a great prospect that they were sending me to a winter league to sharpen up. When I stepped off the plane, I was in Greenland.”
— Bob Uecker, If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers
Tagged: baseball, Failure, Greenland
“Let's face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can't resist.”
— Bob Uecker, The Strike Zone
“The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his championship Little League game. He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud.”
— Bob Uecker, Coaching Youth Baseball- the Right Way
Tagged: baseball, Parenting, Little League, Failure
“One time, I got pulled over at four a.m. I was fined seventy-five dollars for being intoxicated and four-hundred for being with the Phillies.”
— Bob Uecker, Be My Baby Tonight
Tagged: DUI, Philadelphia, baseball
“I led the league in go get 'em next time.”
— Bob Uecker, If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers
Tagged: baseball, Failure
“I was acting when I was playing baseball.”
— Bob Uecker, Answer Man: Bob Uecker talks Mr. Belvedere, Miller Lite ads
Tagged: Acting, baseball
“I didn't get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.”
— Bob Uecker, The Philadelphia Phillies
Tagged: Philadelphia, baseball
“Career highlights? I had two. I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax, and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.”
— Bob Uecker, Uecker's in the Hall. Seriously.
Tagged: Sandy Koufax, baseball, Failure
“I signed with the Milwaukee Braves for $3,000. That bothered my dad at the time because he didn't have that kind of dough. But he eventually scraped it up.”
— Bob Uecker, Uecker's in the Hall. Seriously.
Tagged: baseball, Failure
“I remember I’m batting against the Dodgers in Milwaukee. They led, 2-1 in the bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, two out, and the pitcher has a full count on me. I look over at the Dodgers dugout and they’re all in street clothes.”
— Bob Uecker, Baseball Eccentrics
Tagged: baseball, LA Dodgers, Failure
“When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me.”
— Bob Uecker, Baseball Eccentrics
Tagged: baseball, Failure
“I just grew the hair on my back. Facial hair just wasn't appealing to me. I liked it on my back, though.”
— Bob Uecker, Answer Man: Bob Uecker talks Mr. Belvedere, Miller Lite ads
Tagged: body hair
“Before broadcasting for 50-some years, I did TV, played 10 years in the big leagues, won a world championship—and played a big part in that, too, letting the Cardinals inject me with hepatitis. Takes a big man to do that.”
— Bob Uecker, Answer Man: Bob Uecker talks Mr. Belvedere, Miller Lite ads
Tagged: baseball, Hepatitis
“Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.”
— Bob Uecker, The Baseball Entertainer #2
Tagged: baseball, Failure
“Gaylord Perry says that the day I hit a home run against him was the worst day of his whole life.”
— Bob Uecker
Tagged: Gaylord Perry, baseball, Fail
“Any teammate of mine that had a kid and a boy that was capable of playing baseball, I think I set a terrific example of 'Don't do this' and 'Don't do that.' And that's one of the things that I'm most proud of.”
— Bob Uecker
Tagged: baseball, Failure
“In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the Bigs.”
— Bob Uecker, A Summer Up North
Tagged: baseball, Failure
“I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed.”
— Bob Uecker, Baseball State by State
Tagged: baseball, World Records
“Hey, I think it's easy for guys to hit .300 and stay in the big leagues. Hit .200 and try to stick around as long as I did; I think it's a much greater accomplishment. That's hard.”
— Bob Uecker, Answer Man: Bob Uecker talks Mr. Belvedere, Miller Lite ads
Tagged: baseball, Batting Averages
“I had slumps that lasted into the winter.”
— Bob Uecker, A Summer Up North
Tagged: baseball
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