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Charlie Day Quotes

Total quotes: 88
“If it smells like shit, you must acquit. ”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 12: Hero or Hate Crime?
Tagged: Smell, Poop, Acquit
“If it smells like shit, you must acquit. ”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 12: Hero or Hate Crime?
Tagged: Smell, Poop, Acquit
“If animals have taught me anything, it's that you can easily die and very quickly under a bus and on the side of the road.”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: The Gang Gets Stranded in the Woods
Tagged: Animals, Death, bus, Road Kill
“Principal: I'm a little confused, are you telling me this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?

Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so I was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to this position.”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: The Gang Gets a New Member
Tagged: excellence, Bruce Jenner, resumé, Application
“It's when you drink so much that everything goes brown. It's not as severe as a black out because I remember bits and pieces. I call it browning out.”
— Mac, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: Who Got Dee Pregnant
Tagged: Black Out, Drinking, Drunk, Alcohol, Browning Out
“Just so I'm clear, you don't actually think things are going to come alive because you're spending the night in museum, right?”
— Deandra Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: Who Got Dee Pregnant
Tagged: Night At Museum, alive, Movie
“Mac: Hey bro, how'd you lose your hand?

Sailor: Diabetes.

Mac: That's not much of an adventure is it? Kind of tragic.”
— Mac, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: The Gang Buys a Boat
Tagged: Diabetes, hand, tragic, Adventure
“Frank: Anyone want any more catfish?

Charlie: Yo dude. Definitely give me another one of those. They're delicious. And you can taste that sort of endangered tang...”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: The Gang Buys a Boat
Tagged: Endangered, food, Catfish
“Dennis: The whole purpose of buying the boat in the first place was to get the ladies nice and tipsy top side, so we can take them to a nice comfortable place below deck, and you know, they can't refuse...because of the implication.

Mac: Okay you had me goin' there for the first half. The second half kinda threw me.

Dennis: Well dude, think about it. She's out in the middle of nowhere, with some dude she barely knows. She looks around and what does she see? Nothing but open ocean. 'Ah there's nowhere for me to run! What am I gonna do, say no?'

Mac: Okay. That seems really dark.”
— Dennis Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: The Gang Buys a Boat
Tagged: creepy, boat, Ladies, Sex, dark, Implication
“Charlie: I'll pull a Good Will Hunting. What's your major dude?

Frat Boy: Economics

Charlie: (In Boston accent) Oh, I bet you read a lotta Gordon Wood, huh? You read your Gordon Wood and you regurgitate it from a textbook and you think you're wicked awesome doin' that, And how 'bout' dem apples? And all that Gordon Wood business.”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Gang Reignites the Rivalry
Tagged: Good Will Hunting, Economics, Smart, Impressive
“I'll just regress, because I feel I've made myself perfectly redundant.”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: Paddy's Pub
Tagged: Regress, Redundant, Nonsense
“So the Wendy's manager was like 'You gotta clean dat up!' and I was like they're your hamburgers you clean them up. Artemis was all bummed out about something I did to myself with the onions and now she won't talk to me.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Waitress Is Getting Married
Tagged: Clean Up, Gross, Onions, upset
“[trying to say philanthropist] I'm a full-on-rapist.”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Waitress Is Getting Married
Tagged: accident, Misspoke
“[trying to say philanthropist] I'm a full-on-rapist.”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Waitress Is Getting Married
Tagged: accident, Misspoke
“Dennis: Okay, alright what’s your favorite hobby?

Charlie: Uhh…magnets.”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Waitress Is Getting Married
Tagged: Hobbies, Magnets, Weird
“Charlie: Do wasps make honey?

Dennis: No wasps do not make honey.

Charlie: Alright well I'm gonna check it out anyway, there could be something delicious in here that wasps do make and I want that”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Waitress Is Getting Married
Tagged: Wasp, Bees, Honey, Exploring, Questions
“Dee: Maybe you shouldn't have your window open!

Mac: maybe you shouldn't be throwing jars of piss out the window!”
— Mac, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Gang Hits the Road
Tagged: window, Piss, Gross, angry
“I eat stickers all the time dude!”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Gang Hits the Road
Tagged: Stickers, Gross, food
“I eat stickers all the time dude!”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Gang Hits the Road
Tagged: Stickers, Gross, food
“ Keep singing, bitch! You're not gonna have a face by the time I'm through with you!”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Nightman Cometh
Tagged: Singing, Anger, Threat, Mad, insults
“I am going to smack everyone into tiny...little...pieces!”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Nightman Cometh
Tagged: Anger, Frustration, Smack, annoyed
“I am going to smack everyone into tiny...little...pieces!”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Nightman Cometh
Tagged: Anger, Frustration, Smack, annoyed
“I was that little boy, that little baby boy was me! I once was a boy, but now I'm a man! I fought the Nightman, lived as Dayman, now I'm here to ask for your hand, so if you are too merry m'am will you marry me? Will you come on stage and join me in this thing called matrimony? Please say yes and do not bone me, please just marry me!”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Nightman Cometh
Tagged: Marriage, Proposal, stage, Matrimony
“I was that little boy, that little baby boy was me! I once was a boy, but now I'm a man! I fought the Nightman, lived as Dayman, now I'm here to ask for your hand, so if you are too merry m'am will you marry me? Will you come on stage and join me in this thing called matrimony? Please say yes and do not bone me, please just marry me!”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Nightman Cometh
Tagged: Marriage, Proposal, stage, Matrimony
“Frank: You gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole. You gotta pay the troll toll to get in. You want this baby boy's hole, you gotta pay the troll toll.

Charlie: Stop, stop, stop. All right not bad, good rhythm, love the enthusiasm. I feel like you're saying 'boy's hole', and it's clearly 'soul.'”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Nightman Cometh
Tagged: Mistakes, Troll, Hole, Musical
“You wanna talk about stress? You wanna talk about stress?! Okay! I've stumbled onto a major company conspiracy, Mac--how 'bout that for stress?”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack
Tagged: Stress, company, Conspiracy, Stressed Out
“ Surprise, bitches! We're alive and it's blowing your minds right now!”
— Deandra Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Mac and Charlie Die
Tagged: surprise, alive, Shock, crazy, Mind Blown
“Of course I'm gonna explode. You think I'm not gonna explode?”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Mac and Charlie Die
Tagged: Explode, Overreact, crazy
“Of course I'm gonna explode. You think I'm not gonna explode?”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Mac and Charlie Die
Tagged: Explode, Overreact, crazy
“Dennis, if I was looking for safe I wouldn't be sticking my dick through a wall.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Mac and Charlie Die
Tagged: Risk, Not Safe, Walls
“Dennis: No, I'm not going to talk in a southern accent. It's bad enough that you wore this stupid 'disguise.'

Charlie: But we're oil men! We would have southern accents.

Dennis: Yeah, but we don't need bolo ties and stupid hats.”
— Dennis Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis
Tagged: oil, Southern Accent, Bolo Ties, Disguise
“Dennis: Lay it on us, bud.

Mac: It involves us pulling up our bootstraps, oiling up a couple of asses, and doing a little plowing of our own. Not gay sex.”
— Mac, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis
Tagged: gay, Sex, Euphomism, Hard Work
“Yeah! Yeah, that's the classic setup. You know this, no? Look, every great crew in history has followed that basic dynamic, right? Looks, brains, wildcard. Think about it! The A-team did it. Scooby Doo did it. The Ghostbusters did it!”
— Mac, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis
Tagged: Team, Setup, Dynamic, looks, Brain, Wildcard
“Cannibalism? Racism? Dude, that's not for us...those decisions are better left to the suits in Washington. We're just here to eat some dude!”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Mac and Dennis
Tagged: Cannibalism, food, Politics, Decisions
“Cannibalism? Racism? Dude, that's not for us...those decisions are better left to the suits in Washington. We're just here to eat some dude!”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Mac and Dennis
Tagged: Cannibalism, food, Politics, Decisions
“Frank: Hey! I killed a deer, I should get to eat it. That's the natural order.

Mac: Wait, you shot a deer?

Frank: That's right! A ten point buck!”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Mac and Dennis
Tagged: Deer, shot, Natural Order, food
“Mac: I do not even understand the smell coming from your body, dude.

Charlie: Oh my God, dude, relax. Dude, I forgot to put on deodorant, okay?

Mac: I have never once, never once seen you wear deodorant, Charlie, never once.

Charlie: Yeah well, you never seen me once wash my testicles either but that doesn't mean I don't do it every Friday.”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 3: The Gang Dances Their Asses Off
Tagged: Smells, Deodorant, Washing, testicles
“ I don't wanna see you or your dirty balls in my alley again!”
— Deandra Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 3: Bums
Tagged: balls, Bums, dirt, Yelling, mean
“Masturbating Bums are bad for Business.”
— Frank Reynolds, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 3: Bums
Tagged: Bums, masturbation, Business
“Glue is for huffing, dude!”
— Charlie Kelly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 3: Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person
Tagged: Glue, Huffing
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