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Ernie McCracken Quotes

Total quotes: 7
“Bowling Priest: You see, bowling for money...that’s my only vice.

Cocktail Waitress: Here’s your drink.

Bowling Priest: Thanks, sugar. [takes drink from a double bourbon on the rocks and pats waitress’ behind] Okay, two vices.

Ernie McCracken: That’s still very good.”
— Ernie McCracken, Kingpin
Tagged: Bowling, Vice
“Sometimes a bowler just has to face the music.”
— Ernie McCracken, Kingpin
Tagged: Bowling, Face the Music
“It’s a small world when you’ve got unbelievable tits, Roy.”
— Ernie McCracken, Kingpin
Tagged: Small world, Tits
“You’re on a gravy train with biscuit wheels.”
— Ernie McCracken, Kingpin
Tagged: gravy train, Biscuits
“Ernie McCracken: The Munson.

Roy: Big Ern. Long time.

Ernie McCracken: I’ll say. Probably a year for every topping on the table. I heard a horrible rumor...[looks at Roy’s prosthetic rubber hand] Oh, creepy! I’m sorry. You know, for the first couple years, I felt responsible. How you been otherwise?

Roy: You know, in the last 17 years, a day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t thought about what I’d say to you if I ever ran into you again.

Ernie McCracken: I bet! [notices Claudia] Hello.”
— Ernie McCracken, Kingpin
Tagged: Rumors, prosthetic hand
“1979 Waitress: Tanqueray and Tab.

Ernie McCracken: Keep ’em comin’, sweets, I got a long drive. Do me a favor, will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?”
— Ernie McCracken, Kingpin
Tagged: Tanqueray, Tab, perfume
“[Roy Munson is getting ready for his turn to bowl]
Ernie McCracken: It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he’s the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He’s got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag and your butt is kinda like an about-to-explode bratwurst.

Roy: Hey. Do you mind? I wasn’t talking when you were bowling.

Ernie McCracken: Was I talking out loud? Was I? Sorry. Good luck.”
— Ernie McCracken, Kingpin
Tagged: Bowling, Odor-Eaters, Bladder, Bratwurst
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