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John Kricfalusi Quotes

Total quotes: 75
“Ssssh! The walls have teeth. Us Italians have to stick together, ya know. Now, what is it ya have for me?

[Cobb takes off his glasses, which takes his eyes with them.]”
— Wilbur J. Cobb (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 3: No Pants Today
“Ren: You! Both of you! Oh, what I'm gonna do to you. I'm so angry! First, I'm gonna tear your lips out. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. And then I'm gonna gouge your eyes out. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.

Stimpy: We don't like this, Ren.

Svën Höek: Yeah, you's scary us.

Ren: Yeah, you're scared, huh? Next, I'm gonna tear your arms out of the sockets. And you wanna know what else? I'm gonna hit ya, and you're gonna fall, and I'm gonna look down, and I'm gonna laugh. But first, FIRST! I gotta take a whiz, don't you go anywhere, you stay right here, right on this spot, I'll be back.”
— Ren Höek (voice) / Stimpson J. Cat (voice) / Sven Hoek (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 2: Svën Höek
“Powdered Toast Man: Quick, man! Cling tenaciously to my buttocks!

The Pope: Both of them?”
— Powdered Toast Man (voice) & The Pope (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 2: Powdered Toast Man
“ [to Stimpy after many nights of not getting any sleep] Psst, hey Guido. Its all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the cheese... and you're the lemon merchant, you get it? And he KNOWS it. That's why he's gonna KILL US. So we got to beat it... ya... before he lets loose the marmosets on us! Don't worry little missy... I'LL SAVE YOU!”
— Ren Höek (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 2: In the Army
“Boy, Ren, if you think you're happy now, wait'll you hear this! It's a record of my favorite song!”
— Stimpson J. "Stimpy" Cat (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 1: Stimpy's Invention
“Ahem. Ladies and gents, I give you... the Cheese-O-Phone! Now we can talk to cheese, anywhere in the world, regardless of their foreign tongues! Uh, go ahead Ren. Say something in... Limburger.”
— Stimpson J. "Stimpy" Cat (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 1: Stimpy's Invention
“[Ren is trying out Stimpy's Stay-Put Socks]

Ren: Why, it's amazing! How do they work?

Stimpy: They're full of glue!

[glue oozes out of the top of the socks]

Stimpy: I'm so glad you like them, Ren! Wait here, I'll go get the stay put hat and raincoat!

Ren: [shouts] You filthy swine. I will kill you!”
— Ren Höek (voice) & Stimpson J. Cat (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 1: Stimpy's Invention
“I've had it up to here with the likes o'you people! Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were circus midgets.”
— Fire Captain (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 1: Fire Dogs
“Ren: You're giving me the can? Are you sure?

Stimpy: Go ahead. It's yours.

[Ren pats Stimpy on the back gratefully.]

Ren: You're one of the good ones, man.”
— Ren Höek (voice) & Stimpson J. Cat (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 1: Space Madness
“Oh, my beloved ice cream bar! How I love to lick your creamy center!”
— Ren Höek (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 1: Space Madness
“Oh, my beloved ice cream bar! How I love to lick your creamy center!”
— Ren Höek (voice), The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 1: Space Madness
“Hey you moron! What's the matter with you? Were you born in a barn? Get on outta here you!”
— Cockroach,
Tagged: Talking Cockroaches
“How am I supposed to sleep with all of this peaceful dreaming going on?”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: peaceful dreaming
“This is to all my loyal fans...LOVE ME!”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Desperation, Narcisissm, needy
“My name is Stimpy, and I am homeless, and have no fish with which to live in.”
— Stimpson J. "Stimpy" Cat (voice),
Tagged: homeless, Self-deprecation
“ Oh I got—I got some nice, stinky old kelp and-and and lots of beautiful fowl, smelling seashells and-and de-licious slime and crusted dead coral.”
— Stimpson J. "Stimpy" Cat (voice),
Tagged: Bizarre Foods
“Hey! You're right! [in a close-up] There's no time to lose! We must be willing to protect us from the unforeseen dangers that wicked us on this island of despair. Well, don't just stand there. BUILD!”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Dangers
“One morning, Wee Ren was awake by the sound of large sobbing and crying. And there, next to the well, The Littlest Giant, sobbing his gigantic little heart out.”
— Stimpson J. "Stimpy" Cat (voice),
Tagged: Gigantic Little Heart
“Check this out, Ren. It's a remote control shaver. Now you can get a clean, close shave, without even being there! Ob-ser-uv!”
— Stimpson J. "Stimpy" Cat (voice),
Tagged: Dumb Inventions
“God bless you, Stimpy. I'm sorry I'm all the time mean to you.”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Apologies
“God bless you, Stimpy. I'm sorry I'm all the time mean to you.”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Apologies
“...and please give me a million dollars, and a fridge with a padlock, and [he sighs in pleasure] oh, yeah... huge pectoral muscles.”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: pectoral muscles
“...and please give me a million dollars, and a fridge with a padlock, and [he sighs in pleasure] oh, yeah... huge pectoral muscles.”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: pectoral muscles
“You know what, Ren? I looked Death right in the eye, and it smelled like cheap cigars and stinkyfish. You see, Ren, life is like a bowling alley. Oh, you make some strikes, if you're lucky, a couple of spares, and nobody knows how to keep score, but in the end, you gotta rent ill-fitting, smelly shoes that squeak.”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Death, Stinkyfish
“Oh, I've just been on a perilous journey down the treacherous carcass-strewn avenue of despair.”
— John Kricfalusi,
Tagged: Despair, Perilous
“Stimpy: What a night. I feel like I got hit by a bus.

Ren: Funny you should say that. According to the obituaries, you were.”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Obituaries
“They think I'm crazy, but I know better. It is not I who am crazy. It is I who am MAD! Didn't you hear them? Can't you see the crowds?”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: crazy, Mad, Madness
“They think I'm crazy, but I know better. It is not I who am crazy. It is I who am MAD! Didn't you hear them? Can't you see the crowds?”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: crazy, Mad, Madness
“Man, this is the life. No one to fuss over me, no one to tell me what to do. [He scratches his back] Why, I haven't bathed in three weeks! [The camera pans back to show the living room is a mess] Hm... I wonder if there's any Chinese food left in the fridge.”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Chinese Food
“Man, this is the life. No one to fuss over me, no one to tell me what to do. [He scratches his back] Why, I haven't bathed in three weeks! [The camera pans back to show the living room is a mess] Hm... I wonder if there's any Chinese food left in the fridge.”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Chinese Food
“This is the luckiest charm in the entire world. It's been handed down in my family for generations and I want you to have it. [pulls string to reveal a lucky foot]. My lucky leper's foot!”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Lucky Charm, Lepers
“Don't you know what TODAY is Ren? It's Tuesday The 17th, the unluckiest day of the year!”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Unlucky
“Dear Johnny, You make me SICK! You probably wet the bed on purpose. [zooms out to Stimpy, pointing proudly to Ren] I am reading letters to everybody at your school warning them never to sleep over with you. Your friend—”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Open Letters
“Stimpy: Look, I got pimples, Ren.

Ren: {warm and happy} Oh, Stimpy. I knew this day would come. This is the first sign of cat puberty.”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: pimples, Puberty
“Stimpy: Uh... R-ren?

Ren: Whaaaaat?

Stimpy: I...I gotta go wee-wee!

Ren: Oooooh no you don't! Not in MY foxhole! You go over THERE!”
— Stimpson J. "Stimpy" Cat (voice),
Tagged: Wee-Wee, Foxhole
“Wait here! Let's celebrate the first day of our eventual demise. I'll light the candle.”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Demise, Candle
“Get a grip, man. Everyone has to cash in their chips sooner or later. You've just got to learn to accept it.”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Get a Grip, Acceptance
“Well, I got news for you, pal. You've only got two lives left. And if you buy the farm, that means I gotta do all the chores. We don't want that now, do we?”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Farm, chores
“You know, you oughta be more careful. All this dying might be bad for your health.”
— Ren Höek (voice),
Tagged: Dying, Health, Careful
“And you, I've had it up to here with your phases. You are not to leave this room until you're a full-grown adult!”
— Ren Höek (voice),
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