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Louis Sachar Quotes

Total quotes: 51
“Stanley: Where’s a person go to the bathroom around here?

Magnet: Pick a hole, any hole.”
— José "Magnet", Holes
Tagged: bathroom, Holes
“[about the dog he stole] I would have made it out, too...if my pocket didn’t start barkin’.”
— José "Magnet", Holes
Tagged: smuggling
“Magnet: Hey. Maybe it’ll rain for 40 days and 40 nights, like it did in The Bible.

Armpit: Yeah, maybe we’ll have to build an ark.

Squid: We’ll get two of every animal...

X-Ray: Yeah, two scorpions, two rattlesnakes, two yellow spotted lizards all that.”
— José "Magnet", Holes
Tagged: Noah's ark, The Bible, two of every kind, scorpions, Rattlesnakes, yellow spotted lizards
“The Warden Walker: How about you dig, and Caveman can fill the canteens? So what do you want to do?

Mr. Pendanski: I’ll fill the canteens.”
— Louise Walker the Warden, Holes
Tagged: canteens
“Is that all you jackasses can dig?”
— Louise Walker the Warden, Holes
Tagged: jackasses, belittlement
“This is my special nail polish. I make it myself. You want to know my secret ingredient? Rattlesnake venom. I just love what it does to the coloring. It’s perfectly harmless...when it’s dry.”
— Louise Walker the Warden, Holes
Tagged: Nail Polish, rattlesnake venom
“I am surrounded by cow turds.”
— Louise Walker the Warden, Holes
Tagged: cow turds
“The Warden Walker: Stanley, won’t you just open it? Just let me see what’s inside it, please!

Stanley: Excuse me?”
— Louise Walker the Warden, Holes
Tagged: excuse me?
“You should go to America. That’s where my son is. That’s where your future is, not Myra Menke. Her head’s as empty as a flowerpot.”
— Madame Zeroni, Holes
Tagged: America, Future, Flowerpot
“If you forget to come back for Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
— Madame Zeroni, Holes
Tagged: Curse, witch, Family
“If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs, / The bark on the tree was as soft as the skies. / The wolf waits below, hungry and lonely, / And cries to the moon, / If only if only.”
— Madame Zeroni, Holes
Tagged: Songs, Woodpecker, Tree, Wolf, Moon
“The early mole digs the deepest hole.”
— Dr. Pendanski, Holes
Tagged: Mole, Hole, early bird
“Mr. Pendanski: Stanley, if you’ve got any questions, just ask Theodore. Theodore will be your mentor. Got that, Theodore?

Armpit: Yeah, man. Whatever, dude.

Mr. Pendanski: I’m depending on you. It should be no labor to be nice to your neighbor.”
— Dr. Pendanski, Holes
Tagged: Mentor, Questions, Be Nice
“It smells like puke from a mule been ruminating on asparagus for two weeks.”
— Dr. Pendanski, Holes
Tagged: puke, Mule, Asparagus
“They all have their little nicknames; however, I prefer to use the names their parents gave them, the names society will recognize them by.”
— Dr. Pendanski, Holes
Tagged: proper name, Nick, Parents, Society
“Mr. Pendanski: Good morning, Theodore!

Armpit: Man, it’s Armpit! I don’t know no fool named Theodore.

Mr. Pendanski: Well, I don’t know no fool named Armpit. [Hands him water] Here’s your water, whoever-you-are.”
— Dr. Pendanski, Holes
Tagged: proper name, Fool
“Mr. Pendanski: No one cares about Hector Zeroni.

Stanley: I do.”
— Dr. Pendanski, Holes
Tagged: Apathy
“Mr. Pendanski: You are here on account of one person; do you know who that one person is?

Stanley: Yeah, my no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather, that’s who it is.

Mr. Pendanski: No, you.”
— Dr. Pendanski, Holes
Tagged: Mistaken Identity
“Stanley: Man how did she know my name?

Zig-Zag: Oh, man, she’s got the whole place wired. Oh yeah, she has these little cameras and microphones all over the place. In the tent, in the rec room, in the showers.

Stanley: They’re not in the showers.

Squid: Oh don’t listen to him. I read his file. It said he suffers from, um, oh, acute paranoia.

Magnet: So I guess that means she watches me every day, huh.

Armpit: Man, he said cameras and microphones, not microscopes.”
— Ricky "Zigzag", Holes
Tagged: Paranoia, Cameras, microphones
“Stanley: Look, it says KB.

Zig-Zag: Yeah...yeah that’s Keith Barrenger.

Squid: Who?

Zig-Zag: He was in my math class.”
— Ricky "Zigzag", Holes
Tagged: Abbreviations, math class
“He’s not going to take it. Come here—eat the cookie.”
— Ricky "Zigzag", Holes
Tagged: Cookie
“Magnet: Nobody messes with the Caveman.

X-Ray: Did you see the Caveman back there?

Stanley: I don’t wanna mess with anybody.

Zig-Zag: Come on, Caveman.

Stanley: ...I’m Caveman?

Zero: Better than Barfbag.”
— Ricky "Zigzag", Holes
Tagged: cave man, barf bag
“Stanley: I stole a pair of shoes.

Squid: From a store or were they on someone’s feet?

Zig-Zag: No, he killed the guy first, just left out that little detail, huh?”
— Ricky "Zigzag", Holes
Tagged: sneaker theft, Murder
“X-Ray: Yeah, and maybe the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are still alive.

Squid: Maybe my mom’ll stop drinkin’ and my dad’ll come back.

Twitch: Man when Caveman stole that truck...oh...

Zig-Zag: That was awesome.

Armpit: Yeah, Caveman did have style.”
— Ricky "Zigzag", Holes
Tagged: easter bunny, tooth fairy
“[singing] You got to go and dig those holes. With broken hands and withered souls. Emancipated from all you know. You got to go and dig those holes.”
— Ricky "Zigzag", Holes
Tagged: Emancipation, ditch digging
“This ain’t no kindergarteners in the sandbox.”
— Marion Sevillo "Mr. Sir", Holes
Tagged: kindergarteners, adults, sandbox, Children
“Everything turns to callous eventually. That’s life.”
— Marion Sevillo "Mr. Sir", Holes
Tagged: callous, Negative, Jaded
“Mr. Sir: All life begins with water. So think of it this way; I’m givin’ you life. Say thank you.

Stanley: Thank you, Mr. Sir.”
— Marion Sevillo "Mr. Sir", Holes
Tagged: Water, Life, Thank You
“Mr. Sir: There’s lizards, hot sun, and rattlesnakes.

Stanley: Rattlesnakes?

Mr. Sir: If you don’t bother them they won’t bother you and ya won’t get bitten and die. Usually.”
— Marion Sevillo "Mr. Sir", Holes
Tagged: Lizards, hot sun, Rattlesnakes
“Yeah, keep running! There ain’t gonna be no Yelnats the Fifth.”
— Marion Sevillo "Mr. Sir", Holes
Tagged: Palindromes, Legacy
“You take a bad boy, make him dig holes all day in the hot sun, it turns him into a good boy. That’s our philosophy here at Camp Green Lake.”
— Marion Sevillo "Mr. Sir", Holes
Tagged: Bad Boy, Discipline, hot sun, summer camp
“The Warden Walker: [while all the boys are digging out a deep trench, Armpit tries to dupe the Warden into thinking that he has found something which is obviously nothing more than a recently broken TV knob] Are you trying to be funny, or do you just think I’m stupid?

Armpit: No, ma’am. I wasn’t trying to be funny.

The Warden Walker: Excuse me?

Mr. Sir: You know something, Armpit? Your little joke has just cost you a week of shower privileges.”
— Marion Sevillo "Mr. Sir", Holes
Tagged: Funny, Stupid, shower privilege
“Zig-Zag: Say, I didn’t know Marion was a man’s name.

Mr. Sir: It ain’t.”
— Marion Sevillo "Mr. Sir", Holes
Tagged: marion, gender-neutral names
“Mr. Sir: Stanley Yelnats...the Fourth?

Stanley: Everyone in my family names their son Stanley, ‘cause it’s Yelnats backwards. It’s this little...tradition.”
— Marion Sevillo "Mr. Sir", Holes
Tagged: Tradition, palindrome
“Mr. Sir: There ain’t nothing down there. We woulda found it by now.

Mr. Pendanski: I wouldn’t tell the queen bee that.

Mr. Sir: I ain’t on stupid pills.”
— Marion Sevillo "Mr. Sir", Holes
Tagged: queen bee, stupid pills
“You Girl Scouts want to hear a story? Once upon a time there was a magical place where it never rained. The end. [snickers scornfully]”
— Marion Sevillo "Mr. Sir", Holes
Tagged: Girl Scouts, fairy tales
“Mr. Sir: What’re we gonna do?

The Warden Walker: You’ll do as I say. [puts her hat on and leaves]

Mr. Pendanski: What did she say?

Mr. Sir: Not much.

Mr. Pendanski: What do we do?

Mr. Sir: You’ll do as I say. [puts his hat on and leaves]

Mr. Pendanski: But you didn’t say anything, either.”
— Marion Sevillo "Mr. Sir", Holes
Tagged: do as i say
“Sam: Is something wrong?

Kissin’ Kate Barlow: Oh, Sam, my heart is breaking.

Sam: I can fix that.”
— Katherine "Kissin' Kate" Barlow, Holes
Tagged: Broken Heart
“The lake goes around for miles. You, and your children, and your children’s children, will dig for a hundred years, and you will never find it. [she picks up a yellow lizard] Start digging, Trout. [She puts the lizard to her arm. It bites her, and she dies, laughing softly]”
— Katherine "Kissin' Kate" Barlow, Holes
Tagged: lake, Children, poisonous lizard
“Trout Walker: [Trout appears, pointing a rifle at Kate] You got five seconds to tell me where you buried the loot!

Kissin’ Kate Barlow: I’ve been waitin’ for you, Trout...[she draws her pistol and aims. Trout hesitates, but then she lowers it] I ain’t gonna kill you. [she throws the gun down, and Trout’s wife picks it up]

Trout Walker: Where’s the loot?

Kissin’ Kate Barlow: There ain’t no loot.

Trout Walker: Don’t give me that! You robbed every bank from Hell to Houston!

Linda Walker: We saw you heading back with a shovel, Miss Katherine!

Kissin’ Kate Barlow: Linda Miller? Is that you?

Linda Walker: I’ve been Linda Walker for the past thirteen years!

Trout Walker: One!

Kissin’ Kate Barlow: Aw, Linda, you were such a good student...you must have married him for his money.

Trout Walker: Two!

Linda Walker: Well, it’s all gone now! It dried up with the lake. Hasn’t rained here since the day they killed Sam! Now you better tell him what he wants, he’s a desperate man!

Trout Walker: Three!

Kissin’ Kate Barlow: Go on, kill me.

Trout Walker: [smiles crookedly] I ain’t gonna kill you. But by the time I’m finished with you, you gonna wish you was dead.

Kissin’ Kate Barlow: [chuckles] I’ve been wishing I was dead for a long time.”
— Katherine "Kissin' Kate" Barlow, Holes
Tagged: loot, Houston, Bank, Threats
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