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Mary Shannon Quotes

Total quotes: 12
“There is no magic. We're not the architects of our own lives. We're monkeys strapped to a rocket and the only way to exert any influence over its trajectory is to work really, really hard.”
— Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight, Season 1: To Serge with Love
Tagged: No Magic, architects, Metaphor Examples, Work Hard
“Bite me. I'm trying to do something healthy for a change.”
— Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight, Season 1: Good Cop, Dead Cop
Tagged: Bite, healthy, Change, Sassy, Rude
“People generally think of forgiveness as the flip side of contrition, the obligatory response to an apology. It is not. To forgive is to answer the call of our better angels and bear our wounds as the cost of doing business. It is that rarest of things, simple and pure...transcendent... without strings.”
— Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight, Season 1: Iris Doesn't Live Here Anymore
Tagged: Forgivness, Apology, Business, Angels, rare, Pure, transcendent
“ I think my least favorite phrase in the human language is 'I'm sorry.' Nine times out of ten when a person says they're sorry, they're really only sorry they got caught, and now want me to forgive them for something I'm still pissed off about. Which puts me in the unhappy position of either saying, 'Up yours' and looking like a total bitch, or saying, 'I forgive you' and feeling like a total schmuck.”
— Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight, Season 1: Iris Doesn't Live Here Anymore
Tagged: phrase, Least Favorite, I'm Sorry, Caught, forgiveness, Unhappy, up yours, schmuck
“Mary: He called me ma'am.

Marshall: Yeah, but he was looking down your shirt when he said it.

Mary: Why are you being so nice to me?”
— Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight, Season 1: High Priced Spread
Tagged: Age, Old, breasts, Nice, Compliment, Attractive
“One way or another, I am going to nail that guy. I mean literally, fillet him, nail his hide to a tree, spread it with jam and watch the squirrels go to town.”
— Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight, Season 1: High Priced Spread
Tagged: Nail, fillet, Literally, Tree, Squirrels
“Marshall: What exactly is your beef with humanity?

Mary: I have no beef with humanity. It's people I can't stand.”
— Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight, Season 1: Who Shot Jay Arnstein?
Tagged: Beef, humanity, People, annoyed
“f there's one thing working in witness protection has taught me it's that people hate change. Oh, we all say we want to change; get thinner, quit smoking, learn to speak Portuguese, but we don't. For better or worse, our habits define us. We turn the pages of the same tattered script over and over, clinging to our well rehearsed routines like barnacles, and nothing rankles us more than having to learn new lines.”
— Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight, Season 1: Who Shot Jay Arnstein?
Tagged: witness protection, Change, thin, smoking, habits, Define, Simile Examples, barnacles
“Nietzsche was right. 'We come into this world alone and we go out of it alone.' Perhaps that explains why we spend our time here on earth so infuriatingly dependent on others.”
— Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight, Season 1: Trojan Horst
Tagged: Nietzsche, Philosophy, Alone, Isolated, Dependent
“A shot at fresh start; a do-over of your entire life, but it only works if you make the decision to be a better human being than you've been and allow the possibility of something greater for yourself.”
— Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight, Season 1: Never the Bride
Tagged: fresh start, do-over, decision, Choice, better human
“'Happily ever after,' the big lie. Those three insidious words, repeated again and again, promising myself and a gazillion other little girls that some day, sure as the sunset, a man prettier than ourselves would sweep us away. To live our lives forever and a day. Blah blah, blah. Never once mentioning the years of quiet desperation that surely followed. Which is why I pray with all my soul that whoever invented the lethal mantra 'happily ever after' died penniless, face down in the gutter, with cats gnawing on his ears.”
— Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight, Season 1: Never the Bride
Tagged: Happily Ever After, Lies, Empty Promises, quiet desperation
“Yeah, but don't let the PJs fool you. That's one bad-ass law man.”
— Mary Shannon, In Plain Sight, Season 1: Hoosier Daddy
Tagged: PJs, bad-ass, Law
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