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Nick Swardson Quotes

Total quotes: 14
“Gary: You know who this is! I'm from Bill Gluckman's office!

Tec: Damn! He's the one that's down with the bitches and hoes! [awkward silence] What? you think we ignint just cuz we live in tha hood?

Gary: No, I didn't say that.

Tec: Whatever.”
— Tec, Malibu's Most Wanted
Tagged: Bad Rhymes, The Hood
“[high-pitched scream] STOP IT! You say one more line and I'm-a have to smoke myself!”
— Tec, Malibu's Most Wanted
Tagged: Bad Rhymes
“I'm gonna be on the campaign trizzy too, 24/7. you know, kissin' babies and whatnot.”
— Brad 'B-Rad' Gluckman, Malibu's Most Wanted
Tagged: Bad Rhymes
“I got a PHD. Poser Hater Degree.”
— Brad 'B-Rad' Gluckman, Malibu's Most Wanted
Tagged: Bad Rhymes, Ph.D., Poser, hater
“You that weak fuck from the club.”
— Brad 'B-Rad' Gluckman, Malibu's Most Wanted
Tagged: Fake Tough Guys, Weak, Fuck
“PJ: If you jacked it, how come you got a receipt?

B-Rad: I stole that, too.”
— Brad 'B-Rad' Gluckman, Malibu's Most Wanted
Tagged: Poseurs, Fake Tough Guys
“B-Rad: And If I work hard, I can be the biggest rapper there ever was?

Ronnie Rizzat: Rapper? Hell, no, you stink.

B-Rad: Don't be hatin'.

Ronnie Rizzat: I'd rather eat garbage then listen to your tired-ass rhymes.”
— Brad 'B-Rad' Gluckman, Malibu's Most Wanted
Tagged: Bad Rhymes, Tired-Ass
“My name is B-rad. Not Robbie van Winkle. I like my lattes nonfat and don't fo-get the sprinkle.”
— Brad 'B-Rad' Gluckman, Malibu's Most Wanted
Tagged: Bad Rhymes, Robbie Van Winkle, Vanilla Ice, latte
“Traffic, traffic lookin' fo my Chapstick, feelin' kinda carsick, there's a Ford Maverick.”
— Brad 'B-Rad' Gluckman, Malibu's Most Wanted
Tagged: Traffic, ChapStick, Ford Maverick, Bad Rhymes
“Everybody loves pot brownies. But I bring crystal meth cupcakes to the party and suddenly I'm the weirdo.”
— Nick Swardson, Nick Swardson: Seriously, Who Farted?
Tagged: stand up comedy, Comedians, Adam Sandler Crew, Hollywood Actors
“I got alcohol poisoning. Its not fun, I don't recommend it. Its actually so funny because you can die that way. Its such a weird way to die, its so stupid. But its funny to me trying to explain it. Dying that way. 
"Dude did you hear about Nick? He died."
"What, how? Who did it?"
"Nick."
"With what?"
"Sea Breezes."”
— Nick Swardson, Nick Swardson: Seriously, Who Farted?
Tagged: stand up comedy, Comedians, Adam Sandler Crew, Hollywood Actors
“That movies called Boner Soup? About the dad who died and the kids? What the fuck is Boner Soup? I didn't see a boner or soup in the whole trailer.”
— Nick Swardson, Nick Swardson: Seriously, Who Farted?
Tagged: stand up comedy, Comedians, Adam Sandler Crew, Hollywood Actors
“I always thought it would be really funny if they showed a really dramatic trailer, really serious, and they have a title at the end of it that has nothing to do with the trailer. This is again to mess with the audience.”
— Nick Swardson, Nick Swardson: Seriously, Who Farted?
Tagged: stand up comedy, Comedians, Adam Sandler Crew, Hollywood Actors
“I always thought it would be funny if a movie like that, to mess with all the stoned people in the audience. If right before the movie started, like Transformers, they put "Based on a True Story".”
— Nick Swardson, Nick Swardson: Seriously, Who Farted?
Tagged: stand up comedy, Comedians, Adam Sandler Crew, Hollywood Actors
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