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Tom Kapinos Quotes

Total quotes: 55
“I have managed the Scorpions, Bon Jovi, Skid Row, KISS. I had been dragged through the deepest shit with all kinds of mentally ill people. But I have never been through what Mötley Crüe put me through.”
— Doc McGhee, The Dirt
Tagged: scorpions, bon jovbi, skid row, kiss, Shit, mentally ill, motley crue
“Win it all, lose it all, we are Mötley Crüe.”
— Nikki Sixx, The Dirt
Tagged: Win, Lose, motley crue
“We wanna knock people on their asses and we gotta give them a show. I'm talking like on stage or in clubs. The fans, they're dying for some anarchy. So let's give it to them.”
— Nikki Sixx, The Dirt
Tagged: Anarchy, showmanship
“I'm like walking heroin, very habit forming. It never ends well.”
— Lucifer Morningstar, Lucifer, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Examples of Similes, Not A Good Idea To Engage With Me, Dangerous People, Toxic People
“Lately I've been thinking. Do you think I'm the Devil because I'm inherently evil, or just because dear ol' dad decided I was?”
— Lucifer Morningstar, Lucifer, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: What Makes Someone Evil?, Understanding The Devil
“Children are hideous little creatures. Terrible, taxing burdens.”
— Lucifer Morningstar, Lucifer, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: kids, Children, Why Parenthood Sucks
“Man, fuck them motherfuckers if they can't take a joke!”
— Tom Kapinos, White Famous, White Famous Season 1: Zero F**ks Given
Tagged: Jokes, No Sense of Humor
“We living in a time where people have to apologize for dumb shit every three seconds.”
— Floyd Mooney, White Famous, White Famous Season 1: Zero F**ks Given
Tagged: Outrage Culture, Always Sorry
“I fucking love Obama. Man, I would never intentionally disrespect that beautiful man.”
— Floyd Mooney, White Famous, White Famous Season 1: Zero F**ks Given
Tagged: Obama, Love for Your President
“You wanna continue just throwing noise at our culture? Do you wanna be a headline or an icon?”
— Ron Balls,
Tagged: Popular Culture, Cultural Noise, Being Famous
“You wouldn't try to be making me a little bit jealous, if you weren't jealous yourself.”
— Floyd Mooney, Wolves
Tagged: jealously, Why We Make People Jealous
“Gotta keep it simple, motherfucker. Gotta learn to walk before you run, man.”
— Ron Balls, Wolves
Tagged: Keep It Simple, Simplicity
“It's just it's bad enough I fucked a white woman once.You know, twice would be unforgivable. That shit does not go over well in the community.”
— Floyd Mooney, Wolves
Tagged: Sleeping With White Chicks
“I guess we all have that someone somewhere.”
— Kali, Duality
Tagged: Lost Love, Waiting For That Person, Mr. Right
“When it rains, it jizzes all over our fucking faces, but that's why we are a couple of come-guzzling sluts, am I right? We chug it down.”
— Malcolm,
Tagged: When It Rains It Pours, Vulgar, Bad Day
“School should feel like prison. School should make you wanna bust out and do something different with your life.”
— Floyd Mooney, White Famous, White Famous Season 1: Heat
Tagged: School, Education
“I mean, we all have things that trigger our arousal, and if we just acknowledge them as normal and not deny them, then we could just move the fuck on with our lives!”
— Marcy Runkle, Californication, Californication Season 7: Faith, Hope, Love
Tagged: sexuality, Why Is Sex Such A Big Deal?, Sex
“She was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I fucked it up again and again and again.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: Faith, Hope, Love
Tagged: Mistakes, Relationships & Dating, Sorry
“Everything is so fucking crazy right now. I don't feel like I can make the right move to save my life.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: 30 Minutes or Less
Tagged: Confusion, Crazy Life
“Entering her is like walking into the most wonderful candy store in the world. Spending time inside of her is akin to cocooning yourself in the softest, most exotic of silks.”
— Stu Beggs, Californication, Californication Season 7: Dinner with Friends
Tagged: Sex, Funny Descriptions of Great Sex
“I impulse remarried a depraved lunatic who can't even get it up for me.”
— Marcy Runkle, Californication, Californication Season 7: Levon
Tagged: Cokey Smurf, Marriage
“Is this wrong? I can't tell anymore. I can't fucking tell anymore.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: Getting the Poison Out
Tagged: Ethics, Moral Compass, Right And Wrong
“You have got to get the toxins out, somehow, some way. It's the only thing that'll clear a man's head.”
— Stu Beggs, Doctor Who, Series 10: Smile
Tagged: Sex, Lizard Brain
“It's just so hard to tell the difference between those that have a good heart and the ones that are just out there to win.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 5: The Way of the Fist
Tagged: Good People, Good Hearts
“Do you think I would have let you sodomize me if I didn't think there was a future here?”
— Carrie, Californication, Californication Season 5: JFK to LAX
Tagged: Anal Sex, Commitment
“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will love you till the very end of time. But I can no longer be your husband.”
— Richard Bates, Californication, Californication Season 5: Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be
Tagged: Ways To Say I'm Done With You, End of A Realtionship, End of A Marriage
“You do something nice for people — they take advantage of that shit over and over again.”
— Samurai Apocalypse, Californication, Californication Season 5: Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be
Tagged: Being Kind, Taken Advantage Of
“You're not like me. You're not a warrior. Listen, if we were members of the same tribe, I mean, I'd be out hunting and gathering. You'd be home with the women.”
— Richard Bates, Californication, Californication Season 5: Hell Ain't a Bad Place to Be
Tagged: insults
“I've been rich and famous for so long now that I don't think I know what it means to be a human being anymore.”
— Atticus Fetch, Californication, Californication Season 6: In the Clouds
Tagged: rich, Rockstars, Rich People Problems, Famous
“I have squandered a lot of opportunities, it's true. I could give you a bunch of excuses. I could blame it on my masturbating agent or I could chalk it up to fear and self-loathing in Los Angeles, but the truth is that... I'm trying to grow the fuck up for once. You know, I'm on a quest to reclaim the best parts of myself before it's too fuckin' late.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 7: Levon
Tagged: Californication
“As a writer, I'm a sucker for happy endings. The guy gets the girl, she saves him from himself, fade to fucking black. As a guy who loves a girl, I realize there's no such thing. There's no sunset. There's just now, and there's just the two of us, which can be scary fucking ugly sometimes. But if you close your eyes and listen for the whisper of your heart—if you simply keep trying and never ever give up, no matter how many times you get it wrong, until the beginning and the end blur into something called until we meet again -- and that's it.”
— Hank Moody, Homeland, Season 1: Grace
Tagged: Californication
“I guess I see myself as an enthusiast. A drug and alcohol enthusiast.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 6: Everybody's a Fucking Critic
Tagged: Californication
“The person that I want to have everything to do with, wants nothing to do with me.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 6: The Dope Show
Tagged: Californication
“You have extremely moist lips. They're like kissable cupcakes. It's as if Sprinkles and Crumbs got together and made sweet love and had these delicious smoochable cupcake babies.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 5: The Way of the Fist
Tagged: Californication
“You know what they say? Whatever doesn't kill us makes us even more annoying.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 5: The Way of the Fist
Tagged: Californication
“It’s a big, bad world full of twists and turns, and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment… the moment that could’ve changed everything.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“She said one thing. I said another. Next thing I knew, I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“Friends don’t let friends bang each other’s soul mates.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“I’m just like my father. You know, there isn’t a woman that I’ve met that I haven’t fallen in love with for 10 minutes or 10 years.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: In Utero
Tagged: Californication
“At the end of the day, it’s all about her. It’s always been about her.”
— Hank Moody, Californication, Californication Season 2: La Petite Mort
Tagged: Californication
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