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Gilmore Girls Quotes

“'Hello' is the appropriate way to indicate you're open to a social engagement. Unless, however, you're approaching a weasel. Then I believe the proper signal is just to offer him your hindquarters.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: humor, socializing, Dating
“You are full of hate and loathing and I gotta tell you, I love it!”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: Loathing, Hatred, humor
“It's Friday night, we should be out partying with the homies.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: humor, Partying, Friday
“You know my babbling capabilities are infinite.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: humor, Babbling
“I'm attracted to pie. It doesn't mean I feel the need to date pie.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: Relationships, Attraction, humor, Pie
“It's very exciting, but so is eating a gallon of pudding.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: Pudding, Excitment, humor
“There's plenty to do tonight that we can be mortified about tomorrow.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: humor, Drinking, Going Out, Partying
“I stop drinking coffee, I stop doing the standing and the walking and the words-putting-into-sentence doing.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: Coffee, humor, Tired
“Did anyone ever think that maybe Sylvia Plath wasn't crazy, she was just cold?”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: humor, Sylvia Plath
“I don't like Mondays but unfortunately they come around eventually.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: Mondays, humor
“This is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countries' cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: America, Politics, humor, Culture
“If you're going to throw your life away, he'd better have a motorcycle.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: humor, Life, Love, Bad Boy
“As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I'm totally flexible.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: humor, Control, Control Freak, Flexibility
“I would like a cheeseburger, with a side of cheeseburger, and see if they can make me a cheeseburger smoothie.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: food, humor, Hunger
“I'm afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: Love, Relationships, crushes, heart, humor
“I need coffee in an IV.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: Coffee, Tired, humor
“If it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: Coffee, Love, humor
“I don't like problems. I avoid them when I can and I don't like people pointing them out to me.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: humor, Problems, Avoiding Problems
“It's all any of us wants, to find a nice person to hang out with until we drop dead. Not a lot to ask!”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: humor, Love, Relationships, Marriage
“It's like my life isn't even real to me unless you're there, and you're in, and I'm sharing it with you.”
— Luke, Gilmore Girls
Tagged: Declarations Of Love, Television, Romantic, Love, Life
“Luke: Very romantic.

Lorelai: Says the man who yelled "Finally." at the end of Love Story.”
— Luke & Lorelai, Gilmore Girls
“There are many paths in life. There's the "Hey, you're cute, sure, I'll marry you after graduation and med school" and the "Can you drive Susie to soccer today, 'cause I've got a pediure?" path. And then there's my path, where I found myself 16 and pregnant and I realized "I have to get a job, I have to raise a kid and being me, I have to do it all by myself." Not easy. But the thing with my path was, when I reached the end, I turned around and realized I'd ended up someplace really good.”
— Lorelai, Gilmore Girls
“Rory: You’re not worried, are you? Because I’m just going for the sun and to read, nothing more.

Lorelai: I know, I know. It’s just, it’s always the good kids who’ve never had a drink that take one sip of Kahlua and fall out of a window.

Rory: So you’re sad you never taught me how to drink?

Lorelai: Exactly!”
— Rory & Lorelai, Gilmore Girls
“Lorelai: I’m lying in bed and I’m sleeping and I’m wearing this fabulous nightgown, and like thirty alarm clocks go off, and so I get out of bed and I walk downstairs, and there, standing in the kitchen, is Luke!

Rory: Was he naked?

Lorelai: No! He was making breakfast.

Rory: Naked?

Lorelai: Okay, you’ve been in Washington way too long.”
— Rory & Lorelai, Gilmore Girls
“Rory: One sec. You know Mom, I hate to bring this up, but I think there’s a really obvious solution to our problem.

Lorelai: I know, hon.

Rory: You do?

Lorelai: Yes. And frankly, I think if I sold you into white slavery, I would miss you.”
— Rory & Lorelai, Gilmore Girls
“Rory: Mother-daughter window washing. We should try that.

Lorelai: Yeah, right after mother-daughter shock treatments.”
— Rory & Lorelai, Gilmore Girls
“Rory: The house is burning and you can save the cake or me. Which do you save?

Lorelai: That’s not fair. The cake doesn’t have legs.”
— Rory & Lorelai, Gilmore Girls
“Hey, guys, go on over to the diner and have breakfast with your families, and then ask the nice man in the baseball hat and the flannel shirt to do sock puppets for you. And if he says no, just ask him louder. It’s part of the game!”
— Lorelai, Gilmore Girls
“I’m going to go make out in the coat room. Don’t eat my chicken.”
— Lorelai, Gilmore Girls
“Well, we like our Internet slow, okay? We can turn it on, walk around, dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there’s no dancing, no walking, and we’d starve. It’d be all work and no play. Have you not seen ‘The Shining,’ Mom?”
— Lorelai, Gilmore Girls
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