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Josh Schwartz Quotes

Total quotes: 51
“Holidays make what is better even worse.”
— Ryan Atwood, The O.C., Season 1: The Best Chrismukkah Ever
Tagged: Holidays, Christmas
“Tina: Does this mean what I think?

Leslie: We're gonna need another sacrifice.”
— Leslie Dean, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Reunion
Tagged: dark, Sacrifice, mysterious, foreboding, Contextual Quotes
“Geoffrey: Those friends of yours are probably feeling the exact same way you are today.

Alex: Actually, they're doing just fine.

Geoffrey: Or maybe they're better at hiding what's really going on.”
— Geoffrey Wilder, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Reunion
Tagged: Friends, Feeling, Fine, Hiding, facade, Wisdom, Parents, Family
“Kids that know you when you're young? No one will ever know you like that again. Don't give up on that.”
— Geoffrey Wilder, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Reunion
Tagged: kids, young, Youth, Don't Give Up, Contextual Quotes
“We're ready. Tonight, another becomes eternal.”
— Leslie Dean, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Reunion
Tagged: tonight, eternal, Contextual Quotes
“Chase: I gotta go.

Alex: Cause of these guys? We used to make fun of guys like these.

Chase: Yeah, and now we make fun of guys like you.”
— Chase Stein, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Reunion
Tagged: Jocks, Nerds, Friends, enemies, Make Fun, bully
“Some people hide behind makeup, others behind a smile. It's still hiding.”
— Nico Minoru, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Reunion
Tagged: Makeup, Smile, Hiding, facade, wise, Deep
“Robert: Janet, have you done something different with your hair?

Janet: Thank you so much for noticing.

Victor: Forgive me for being so busy changing the world that I didn't notice your bangs had grown out.”
— Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Reunion
Tagged: hair, noticing, Busy, changing the world, Bangs, humor
“Secrets only live in shadows and there are no shadows in the light.”
— Frank Dean, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Rewind
Tagged: Secrets, Shadows, Light, mysterious, Wisdom
“Phil: Listen, Frank, you had a good run. There was a moment there when your poster was on the wall of every teenage girl across the country. A huge swath of the teenage population discovered the wonders of masturbation to your photo.

Frank: That's high praise indeed.”
— Frank Dean, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Rewind
Tagged: Poster, Famous, teenagers, masturbation, Vulgar, High Praise, Praise, humor
“Victor: You're not getting cold feet, are you Geoffrey?

Geoffrey: It concerns me that you aren't. She's only 17.

Tina: They're always the same age.

Geoffrey: Which is now the same age as our children. That don't bother nobody?”
— Geoffrey Wilder, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Rewind
Tagged: Cold Feet, Concern, Seventeen, Children, Bother, Unethical
“Dale: Personally, I've found denial to be a very effective coping mechanism.

Janet: Kind of how I feel about Chardonnay.”
— Janet Stein, Marvel's Runaways, Season 1: Rewind
Tagged: Denial, Coping Mechanisms, Chardonnay, Alcohol, humor, Sassy
“Julie: Oh, classy choice, Jimmy, although it's pretty obvious that you're with her because you can't be with Kirsten. You know, I think in psychology that's called transference.

Jimmy: Oh, and you marrying Caleb, I think in psychology that's called shameless gold-digging.”
— Jimmy Cooper, The O.C., Season 1: The Ties That Bind
Tagged: Psychology, Transference, Gold-Digging, Marriage, Relationships, tension, Drama, Insult
“Marissa: I think we should spend this whole summer just being normal.

Ryan: We're not gonna hold Seth to that, are we?

Marissa: No. That would be impossible.”
— Marissa Cooper, The O.C., Season 1: The Ties That Bind
Tagged: Summer, normal, impossible, Snarky, Insult, Rude, humor
“I have my secret recipe: takeout.”
— Kirsten Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Ties That Bind
Tagged: Recipe, food, Takeout, joke, Secret, humor, Cooking
“Kirsten: Is everything okay?

Ryan: Yeah, it's fine.

Theresa: I'm pregnant.

Seth: Well, except for that.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Ties That Bind
Tagged: Okay, pregnant, awkward, Witty, humor
“Summer: Was I really mean to you?

Seth: No, that would have required you to speak to me. Or anyone to speak to me.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Proposal
Tagged: mean, Outcast, Speak, Sad, Outsider, couple, Relationship, Unpopular
“Summer: You were in the comic book club?

Seth: Yeah. I was the president and only member.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Proposal
Tagged: Comic Books, Comics, President, pathetic, Sad
“Summer: The other night, when we... had sex... you weren't the only virgin in the room.

Seth: There was someone else in the room? Like, filming us?

Summer: Me, jackass.”
— Summer Roberts, The O.C., Season 1: The Heartbreak
Tagged: Sex, virgin, Filming, Porn, Jackass, Snarky, Witty, humor
“Summer: I'm busy. Studying. Naked.

Seth: Is that supposed to keep me away?

Summer: Cohen? You're at my house!

Seth: And you're dressed. I wonder who's more disappointed.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Heartbreak
Tagged: studying, Busy, Naked, House, Disappointed, humor, Sassy, Witty
“Hailey: You guys are, like... married.

Kirsten: Yeah, that was the idea. When we had our wedding.

Hailey: No, I mean... deeply, deeply married.”
— Kirsten Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Countdown
Tagged: married, Marriage, wedding, Relationships, Snarky, humor, joke, Family, Sisters
“Luke: Maybe I can just blow the whole thing off, go hit the beach, give everybody time to get it out of their systems.

Ryan: It doesn't work like that. It's been months and I'm still the kid from Chino that burned a house down.

Marissa: And I'm still the girl who tried to kill herself in Mexico.

Seth: And I'm still the... I'm still Seth Cohen.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Secret
Tagged: beach, Arson, Suicide Attempts, joke, Sassy, Snarky, humor
“Sandy: And you're going to yogalates.

Kirsten: You just like saying that.

Sandy: Yogalates? Yeah, I kinda do. Yogalates?

Ryan: Yogalates.”
— Sandy Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Secret
Tagged: yoga, Yogalates, Exercise, joke, Sassy
“Seth: Ryan, that's extremely minty of you. I didn't even know they had musicals in Chino. I didn't even know they had dancing, or... laughter.

Ryan: That's because no one who lived there is as funny as you.

Seth: So, we finally agree I'm the funny one. Well, look at that! Looks like we all learned some valuable lessons this Thanksgiving.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Homecoming
Tagged: Thanksgiving, Holidays, Witty, humor, Minty, Musicals, Dancing, Laughter, Funny, Sassy
“Do you know what I dream about when I dream about Thanksgiving, which is a lot? I dream that I eat so much deliciousness that all the blood rushes to my stomach and I pass out right at the table. Please do not deny me that.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Homecoming
Tagged: Thanksgiving, food, Eat, Holidays, Delicious, Pass Out, Deny, humor, joke
“Seth: You ate my toast, Summer.

Summer: I like crusts, Seth.

Seth: Face it. Our chemistry is undeniable.

Summer: You know what else is undeniable?

Seth: What?

Summer: The pain this fork is gonna cause when I jam it into your eye. I suffer from rage blackouts.”
— Summer Roberts, The O.C., Season 1: The Escape
Tagged: Toast, food, chemistry, Undeniable, Pain, Stab, Rage, Rage Blackout, Blackout, Insult, flirty
“Seth: I'm going 70 in a 65 zone.

Summer: 80 is the new 70.

Seth: What? Who talks like that?

Summer: Who gets passed by a van full of nuns? Oh, wait, Cohen does!

Seth: Well they have God on their side, Summer, okay. I'm not gonna beat Jesus.

Summer: I'm gonna call Holly and see how far ahead of us they are. And she's a girl!

Seth: That's insulting to your own gender.

Summer: Not as insulting as it is to you.”
— Summer Roberts, The O.C., Season 1: The Escape
Tagged: speed, God, Nuns, Sexist, flirty, Insult, Rude, Sassy, Snarky, Girl, gender, Insulting
“Seth: Comicon is basically a bunch of pathetic virgins ogling some porn star dressed as Catwoman.

Ryan: I thought you said you went every year.”
— Ryan Atwood, The O.C., Season 1: The Escape
Tagged: Comicon, Virgins, pathetic, Porn Star, Catwoman, Pop Culture, nerd, joke, Sassy
“Seth: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.

Ryan: What happens in Mexico?

Seth: I don't know, because it stays there. That's why we must go!”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Escape
Tagged: Mexico, Secret, travel, joke, Sassy, humor
“Gabrielle: Fifth grade? Okay, she needs to change that. She's known that guy since he's been eating paste.

Seth: I think he still does.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Girlfriend
Tagged: Fifth Grade, Elementary School, Paste, Dating, Boyfriend, Snarky, Sassy, Insult
“Seth: Is it twisted if I find my potential grandma really hot?

Ryan: Not when she looks like that.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Girlfriend
Tagged: Grandma, Twisted, Hot, Attractive, joke, Sassy, awkward
“Caleb: Seth! Ah... You're still not a football player.

Seth: Ha, no, but thank you.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Girlfriend
Tagged: Football, Insult, Thank You, Sassy, Snarky, Rude
“Kirsten: Maybe you guys can make peace this weekend.

Sandy: Okay. Oh, no, no wait. I can't.

Kirsten: Why?

Sandy: I'm still Jewish. Just gettin' it out of my system. I promise.

Kirsten: I wonder what his new girlfriend's like.

Sandy: I am sure she is very well paid. And on fire.”
— Sandy Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Girlfriend
Tagged: Peace, Family, awkward, Jewish, Girlfriend, Prostitute, Escort, joke, Fire
“Anna: Could you be any more pathetic? A lone figure sitting on the floor, wondering if he's gonna be lonely for the rest of his life.

Seth: Hey, your sensitivity — it's really, uh, nonexistent.

Anna: You know what your problem is? You're not a man.

Seth: Again, not appreciating the brutal honesty.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Debut
Tagged: pathetic, Lonely, Sensitivity, Insensitive, Man, Brutal Honesty, Honesty, joke, humor
“Anna: Wait. Are you the kid from Chino who steals cars and sets people's houses on fire? So you're saying I'm making my debut into society with Newport's most wanted?

Ryan: Is that gonna be a problem?

Anna: I can't wait.”
— Anna Stern, The O.C., Season 1: The Debut
Tagged: steal, criminal, Arson, Fire, Society, Debut, Debutantes, Mischief, Problem
“Dude, you're a Cohen now. Welcome to a life of insecurity and paralyzing self-doubt.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Debut
Tagged: Insecurity, Welcome, Self-Doubt, Paralyzing, joke, Snarky, Sassy
“Sandy: The minute you were born, I knew that I would never take another easy breath again without knowing that you were safe.

Seth: So, I'm like asthma?”
— Sandy Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Model Home
Tagged: born, father, Son, Breath, Safety, parental love, Asthma, Sassy, joke
“Luke: Shut up, queer.

Seth: Well, at least I don't shave my chest.

Luke: What did you just say?

Seth: I just said you look good in a sweater vest. It was a compliment.”
— Seth Cohen, The O.C., Season 1: The Model Home
Tagged: Snarky, Sassy, joke, Insult, Queer, Sweater Vest, Compliment, Fashion
“Ryan: I'm not too popular around here. And your boyfriend? A little angry.

Marissa: Oh, and you're telling me you didn't try to hit him back?

Ryan: Actually, I hit him first.

Marissa: Well, hard to believe you're not more popular.”
— Marissa Cooper, The O.C., Season 1: The Model Home
Tagged: Popular, Boyfriend, angry, Fight, hit, Sassy, flirty
“Marissa: Who are you?

Ryan: Whoever you want me to be.”
— Ryan Atwood, The O.C., Season 1: Premiere
Tagged: flirty, mysterious, Want, Vague, Enigmatic, Iconic
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