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Larry Wilson Quotes

Total quotes: 46
“How do you like that? The guy gets laid more times dead than I do alive.”
— Larry Wilson, Weekend at Bernie's
Tagged: Casual Hookups
“Lydia: Are you the guys hiding out in the attic?

Adam: We're ghosts!

Lydia: What do you look like under there?

Adam: Aren't you scared?

Lydia: I'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? Like all bloody veins and pus?

Adam: Night of the what?

Lydia: Living Dead. It's a movie.

Barbara: You know, if I had seen a ghost at your age I would have been scared out of my wits.”
— Lydia Deetz, Beetlejuice
Tagged: night of the living dead, Ghosts
“Messenger: How do I look? There are no mirrors on this side.

Adam: Fine, you look fine.

Messenger: Yeah?

Barbara: Fine.

Messenger: Thanks, I've been feeling a little flat. [he laughs and goes through the crevice in the filing room]”
— Messenger, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Mirrors, Insecurity, Life After Death
“Lydia: They don't wanna come down.

Delia: Charles...

Otho: Why not?

Lydia: I think the reason is, is that they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared.

Delia: Please, they're dead. It's a little late to be neurotic.”
— Lydia Deetz, Beetlejuice
Tagged: neurotic, Scared
“Adam: Cabin fever, hon?

Barbara: Well, I can't clean anything properly. The vacuum's out in the garage and we can't leave the house. Why don't they tell us something? I mean, where are all the other dead people in the world? Why is it just you and me?

Adam: Maybe this is heaven.

Barbara: In heaven there wouldn't be dust on everything.”
— Adam Maitland, Beetlejuice
Tagged: cabin fever, vacuum cleaner, Dust, Heaven
“I'll eat anything you want me to eat. I'll swallow anything you want me to swallow. But, come on down and I'll...chew on a dog! Arroooo!”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Hunger, Gluttony
“What's the good of being a ghost if you can't frighten people away?”
— Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Ghost, scaring people
“I'm just doin' my job, besides, I thought we had a deal! Hey, it's OK. You know why? I don't wanna do business with you deadbeats anyway. The only one I think I can deal with is Edgar Allan Poe's daughter. I think she understands me.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Deadbeats, Edgar Allan Poe
“Lydia: I was just trying to open the door. Mrs. Butterfield brought over a skeleton key.

Charles: Let me have it.

Lydia: But it doesn't work. [She hands her father the key. He looks at it and throws it in the corner]

Charles: Skeleton keys never work. Anyway, this can wait. We'll get a crowbar later. Where's your mother?

Lydia: Stepmother.

Charles: I'm going down to relax. I want a noise-free zone. Do you understand? Noise-free. [he goes down the stairs]

Lydia: Dad?

Charles: [irritated, over his shoulder] What?

Lydia: I'm lonely.

Charles: What?

Lydia: Nothing.”
— Charles Deetz, Beetlejuice
Tagged: relax, noise-free, skeleton key
“If you tell me what you do, I'll tell you why my husband will fire you.”
— Delia Deetz, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Bossy, You're Fired
“Juno: [as Adam and Barbara come back to the afterlife] You two have really screwed up! I received word that you allowed yourselves to be photographed, and you let Betelgeuse out and didn't put him back, and you let Otho get hold of the handbook!

Adam: Handbook? When?

Juno: [rolls her eyes] Never trust the living! We cannot have a routine haunting like yours provide proof that there is existence beyond death.”
— Juno, Beetlejuice
Tagged: screwed up, Handbook, Living, haunting, Life After Death
“Otho: I have a feeling there's something very interesting behind that door.

Delia: [sarcastically] Yeah. Ghosts. The people who died in this house and they want us OUT of here. Well, let's do them a favor...”
— Otho, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Ghosts, haunting
“Char Man: Want a cigarette?

Adam: No, thank you.

Char Man: I'm trying to cut down myself.”
— Adam Maitland, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Cigarettes
“Adam: It's the first day of our vacation, and you haven't been out of the kitchen since five a.m.

Barbara: [proudly] I always make the flag cake.

Adam: Fifty stars, thirteen stripes. Did you get it right this year?”
— Adam Maitland, Beetlejuice
Tagged: vacation, flag cake
“Beetlejuice: You know, you look like somebody I can relate to. Maybe you could help me get out of here, you know, because I got to tell you, this dead thing... it's just too creepy. See, here's my problem. I got these friends I said I'd meet, and it's the kind of thing where I have to be there in person, so could you help me get out of here?

Lydia: I want to get in.

Beetlejuice: Why?...You know, hey, you probably got your reasons. I can't do anything from here. If you could get me out, then maybe we could talk or something.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: creepy
“Adam: You've read our book?

Lydia: Yeah.

Adam: You can follow it?

Lydia: Yeah. Why were you guys creeping around in Delia's bedroom?

Adam: We were trying to scare your mother.

Lydia: Stepmother. Anyway, you can't scare her. She's sleeping with Prince Valium tonight.”
— Adam Maitland, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Valium, Prince Valium, Prince Valiant
“These aren't my rules. Come to think of it, I don't have any rules.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Rules, No Rules
“[a fly appears in the Maitland home, it flies onto the model of the town, then lands near the graveyard area]
Beetlejuice: [pops out of a crack] Hey! Hey, you! Hey, come here!

[fly stops, looks Betelgeuse's direction while the hands hold up a Zagnut candy bar]
Beetlejuice: Got something good for ya... Here, boy. Wanna come on over? Have a bite? Want something to nosh?

[enticed by the bar, the fly comes closer, quite hesitant...]
Beetlejuice: [laughs] Come here! [grabs the fly and pulls him into the crack, throws the Zagnut aside]

The Fly: Help me! Help me! Help meeeee! [a burp is heard]”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: zagnut, force-feeding, candy
“Dumb Football Player: Coach. Coach, where's the men's room?

Juno: I'm not your coach! He survived!

Dumb Football Player #2: Wait, coach, let me get something straight. What's our curfew around here?

Juno: Will you get out of here! Go on, get downstairs! 'Men's room!' Are you kidding? Can't you read signs?”
— Juno, Beetlejuice
Tagged: men's room, curfew
“Charles: As soon as we get settled, we'll build you a dark room in the basement, okay?

Lydia: My whole life is a dark room. One big dark room.

Delia: So you were miserable in New York City, and now you're going to be miserable out here in the sticks. At least someone's life hasn't been upheaved.”
— Charles Deetz, Beetlejuice
Tagged: basement, dark room, Miserable, New York City, the sticks
“Delia: Charles, I will not stop living and breathing art just because you need to relax.

Charles: Ha.

Delia: I'm here with you. I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane, and I will take you with me!

Charles: [after a long pause] Yeah, well you know, maybe the house could use a little remodeling. Uh...But, why don't you just leave this room alone, okay?

Delia: [smiles] Okay.

[Delia and Otho leave as Charles goes furious]

Barbara: [furiously] I'm gonna get her.”
— Delia Deetz, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Art, hellhole, insane, Revenge
“[to Lydia, about the owner of the finger he pulled out of a wedding ring] I'm tellin' ya, honey, she meant nothin' to me. Nothin' at all!”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: wedding ring
“Bernard: Otho, I didn't realize you were into the supernatural.

Otho: Well, of course! You remember, after my stint with the Living Theatre. I was one of New York City's leading paranormal researchers, until the bottom dropped out in '72.

Beryl: [cynically] Paranormal—is that what they're calling your kind these days?

Otho: Don't mind her. She's still upset, because somebody dropped a house on her sister. [Delia laughs]”
— Bernard, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Supernatural, New York City, Paranormal
“Barbara: [after Jane did not hear Adam call her] She didn't see you, right?

Adam: Uh-uh.

Barbara: [reading the handbook] In the book: 'Rule Number Two: the living usually won't see the dead.'

Adam: 'Won't' or 'can't'?

Barbara: It just says 'won't'. God, this book is so stupid. I can't understand anything in it. [Adam takes the book and closes it]

Adam: Barb, honey...we're dead. I don't think we have very much to worry about anymore.”
— Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Ghosts, zombies
“Beetlejuice: I'm feeling a little, ooh, anxious if you know what I mean. It's been about six hundred years after all. I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself, can find a little action... [a brothel appears, he dances with joy] Hey Adam, nice move!

Barbara: Adam, why did you build that?

Adam: I didn't! [Adam and Barbara appear at Juno's office]

Juno: The whorehouse was my idea! I want you to get Beetlejuice out of the picture!”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Whorehouse, Anxious
“Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Rhymes, Juice, Loose
“Things seem pretty quiet. Thank God you didn't die in Italy.”
— Juno, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Quiet, thank God, Italy
“They wanted me to dissect a frog, I told them it was against my religion.”
— Lydia Deetz, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Frog, dissection, Religion
“[Trying to get Lydia to say his name three times] No, you don't need to talk to Barbara. Just SAY IT!”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Incantation, Say It
“This house is so big. It really ought to belong to people who have children.”
— Jane Butterfield, Beetlejuice
Tagged: House, Children, spacious
“Charles: I'm not sure this is the right environment for Lydia. Snakes, ghosts...

Delia: Shrimp.”
— Charles Deetz, Beetlejuice
Tagged: environment, Snakes, Ghosts, shrimp
“Adam: How is it that you can see us but nobody else can?

Lydia: Well, I read in that Handbook For The Recently Deceased. It says, 'Live people ignore the strange and unusual.' I, myself, am strange and unusual.

Barbara: You look like a regular girl to me.”
— Adam Maitland, Beetlejuice
Tagged: deceased, Ghosts, strange, unusual
“[reading obituary] Ooh-la-la, what have we got here? The Maitlands. [laughs] Cute couple. Look nice and stupid, too! [more laughing]”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Nice, Stupid, Cute
“[Evaluating her new home] A little gasoline...blowtorch...no problem.”
— Delia Deetz, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Gasoline, blowtorch, Arson
“Lydia: Mr. and Mrs. Maitland? Hello? Where are you?

Beetlejuice: Dead. Dead, dead, deadski.

Lydia: Of course they're dead. They're ghosts.

Beetlejuice: No, I mean they're gone, split, out of here, afterlife kids, deceased—ahh.

Lydia: Are you a ghost, too?

Beetlejuice: I'm a ghost with the most, babe.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Ghost, dead
“Very Dumb Football Player: [the football players have re-entered Juno's office] Coach?

Juno: What?

Very Dumb Football Player: [looking disturbed] I don't think we survived that crash.

Juno: [sarcastically] How did you guess?”
— Juno, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Undead, Football, Plane Crash
“Juno: What's wrong?

Barbara: We're very unhappy.

Juno: What did you expect? You're dead!”
— Juno, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Unhappy, dead
“[why he can't tell Lydia his name]
Because if I tell you, you'll tell your friends, your friends are callin' me on the horn all the time, I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a hell. Okay? A living hell.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Autographs, Hell, living hell
“Adam: You can see us without the sheets?

Lydia: Of course I can see you.

Adam: Well, how is it you see us and nobody else can?

Lydia: Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says: 'live people ignore the strange and unusual.' I myself am strange and unusual.

Barbara: You look like a regular girl to me.”
— Adam Maitland, Beetlejuice
Tagged: strange, unusual, Regular Girl
“Go ahead, make my millennium.”
— Betelgeuse, Beetlejuice
Tagged: Make My Day, clint eastwood
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