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Lauren Graham Quotes

Total quotes: 49
“Is that a llama with a hammer?”
— Joan Baxter, Evan Almighty
Tagged: llama, Hammer, Absurd
“Mom, I'm on my feet I'm not destitute. I've just got a little financial trouble and two degenerate kids, but I'll be fine.”
— Sarah Braverman, Parenthood, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: on my feet, destitute, financial trouble, degnerate, Fine
“Seduce me with The Sound and the Fury.”
— Sarah Braverman, Parenthood, Season 1: What's Goin' On Down There?
Tagged: seduce, sound and fury
“I think I'll just try and get along with you and trust you.”
— Sarah Braverman, Parenthood, Season 1: Rubber Band Ball
Tagged: Try, Effort, get along, Trust
“Sarah: It's about flowers right?

Amber: I think it might be about your vag.”
— Sarah Braverman, Parenthood, Season 1: Perchance to Dream
Tagged: Flowers, subject, Vagina
“Look at her flirting and giggling, it's like she's in the Sex and the City movie.”
— Sarah Braverman, Parenthood, Season 1: Solace
Tagged: Flirting, giggling, Sex And The City
“Sarah: You know, when I was your age I slept with my cousin's boyfriend.

Amber: Are you kidding?

Sarah: Yes, I didn't do that. I smoked and drank a lot, that is why you're so short.”
— Sarah Braverman, Parenthood, Season 1: Lost and Found
Tagged: Boyfriend, Sex, short, smoked, drank
“I think we're better on our own and so, we should move on. Make a mess someplace new.”
— Sarah Braverman, Parenthood, Season 1: Lost and Found
Tagged: better, on our own, Mess, new place
“Sarah Braverman: What, are you having a heart attack?

Adam Braverman: No, I'm exercising.

Sarah Braverman: You're, like, wheezing like an old person”
— Sarah Braverman, Parenthood, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Heart Attack, Exercise, wheezing, old person, Simile Examples
“He called me ‘hot plates.’ He sooooo likes me.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: Written in the Stars
Tagged: compliments
“You weren't wearing your 'hot and wealthy' sandwich board were you, Mom?”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: A Messenger, Nothing More
Tagged: hot and wealthy, sandwich board
“There have been very few moments in my life where I have actually wished I had one of those enormous crème pies you can just smash in somebody's face. But this is definitely one of them.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 2: Nick & Nora/Sid & Nancy
Tagged: Pie, pie throwing
“976-BITE-ME.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 4: An Affair to Remember
Tagged: bite me
“I need caffeine. Whatever form you've got, I haven't had any all day. I'll drink it, shoot it, eat it, snort it, whatever form it's in, gimme.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: Women Of Questionable Morals
Tagged: Caffeine, Coffee
“Hey, tomorrow, if you have time, I'm planning on despising everyone who says 'Hey, how's it going?'”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 1: Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers
Tagged: How's it going?, despise
“So not only did you go to a cop-raided party, but you started the raid? [Then she proceeds to sing, 'Did You Ever Know That You're My Hero?']”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 3: Say Goodnight, Gracie
Tagged: Cops, party, did you ever know that you're my hero?
“Don't let his family see you. Spiders are vindictive. And this was a really big spider. I think it had a gun.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 3: That'll Do, Pig
Tagged: Family, Spiders, Vindictive, Gun
“You can't watch Willy Wonka without massive amounts of junk food.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 1: Kiss and Tell
Tagged: Junk Food, Willy Wonka
“We need you to look at Kirk's butt. He ran into some rose bushes, and he's got some thorns stuck in it, and I thought of you.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller
Tagged: butt, thorn bushes
“Hey, did you know about urine mints?”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 4: The Fundamental Things Apply
Tagged: Urine Mints
“Oh! Dinner with Rory! How delightful! Well, spit-spot. Alert the corgis.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 6: Friday Night's Alright for Fighting
Tagged: Welsh Corgis, Dinner, Delightful
“Hate early. Must kill early.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: Written in the Stars
Tagged: Hate, Kill, early
“Seventy-five thousand dollars? Oh my God, that’s like 150 pairs of Jimmy Choos.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 3: Happy Birthday, Baby
Tagged: Jimmy Choo
“Why is she taking our coats and pouring us drinks? Did you win her in a poker game?”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 7: Lorelai's First Cotillion
Tagged: maid, poker game
“And if he says no, just ask him louder. It’s part of the game!”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 3: A Tale of Poes and Fire
Tagged: Game, no, louder
“Oh yes, it was beautiful in there. We should commemorate it with an oil painting or a severed head or something.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 1: Christopher Returns
Tagged: Beautiful, oil painting, severed head
“Well, we like our Internet slow, okay? We can turn it on, walk around, dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there’s no dancing, no walking, and we’d starve. It’d be all work and no play. Have you not seen The Shining, Mom?”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 1: The Lorelais' First Day at Chilton
Tagged: Internet, slow internet, dial-up, DSL, Walking, Dancing, The Shining
“I love pudding. I worship it. I have a bowl up on the mantel at home with the Virgin Mary, a glass of wine, and a dollar bill next to it.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 1: Rory's Birthday Parties
Tagged: Pudding, Wine, worship, virgin mary
“When I have made one zillion dollars from my rocket gum invention you will eat those words! Or rather you will chew those words and blow a bubble with them.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 7: The Long Morrow
Tagged: inventions, Patents, rocket gum
“My mother is fast asleep in my bed, clutching my Hello Kitty pillow, and yes, I have pictures.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: Wedding Bell Blues
Tagged: hello kitty, mother, Sleeping, Pictures
“Hey, I have a New Year's resolution for you: Become more cynical and self-absorbed.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 2: The Bracebridge Dinner
Tagged: New Year's Resolution, Cynical, Self-Absorbed
“Cheeseburger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I’m looking for heroes.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 4: An Affair to Remember
Tagged: cheeseburger, onion rings, Parricide, Heroes
“My life stinks. Hey, let’s look into each other’s eyes and say 'I wish I were you' at exactly the same time — maybe we’ll pull a 'Freaky Friday.'”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 3: Haunted Leg
Tagged: life stinks, Freaky Friday
“You may be sensitive inside, but what I see on the outside is a soldier.”
— Lauren Graham, Someday, Someday, Maybe: A Novel
Tagged: Sensitive, Soldier, H4D-46
“Anyone can smile on their best day. I like to meet a man who can smile on his WORST.”
— Lauren Graham, Someday, Someday, Maybe: A Novel
Tagged: smiling, Happiness, Sadness
“It's my life, Rory. I went through all this effort for many, many years making sure people only knew what I wanted them to know, and now you're going to lay it all out in a book?”
— Lorelai Gilmore,
Tagged: Truth, Honesty, Parents
“He asked, 'Tell me right now, Lorelai, why aren't you in school?' and I tried to think of something. Some lie that would make sense, but I couldn't. All I could think was that yesterday I had a boyfriend who loved me and today I didn't, and I started to cry. I just sat there like an idiot, bawling. And finally, after what seemed like forever, I managed to control myself a little bit and I calmed down and I waited. I waited for him to yell at me, to punish me, to ground me forever. To tell me how disappointed he was in me, and nothing came. And finally I got up enough courage to look up at him, and he was standing there with with a pretzel. A giant pretzel covered in mustard.”
— Lorelai Gilmore,
Tagged: Truth, Honesty, Parents
“I’m not broken. Maybe just a little chipped.”
— Lorelai Gilmore,
Tagged: confusing, Wants, Needs
“I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, where I was going, what I was doing and why I was doing. But lately, things seem hazier.”
— Lorelai Gilmore,
Tagged: confusing, Wants, Needs
“When I think of blistering thirty-degree burns, I also think of my mother.”
— Lorelai Gilmore,
Tagged: Tough Life, Challenges
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