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Larry Charles Quotes

Total quotes: 114
“Eric: Tom Cruise is going to play Pablo Escobar? C'mon, the guy's not even Hispanic.

Ari: Yeah, and Hilary Swank has a vagina, but she won an Oscar pretending she has a dick. That's what actors do. They pretend.”
— Ari Gold, Entourage, Season 2: The Boys Are Back in Town
Tagged: actors, Pretend, Tom Cruise, Hispanic, pretending
“It's not the money, it's the principle.”
— Johnny "Drama" Chase, Entourage, Season 2: The Boys Are Back in Town
Tagged: Money, Principle, Ethics
“Ari: This kid's got no patience. You know, in some countries they cut off your little elfin feet for disrupting the master's flow.

Eric: I'll shove my elfin foot up in your ass!”
— Eric Murphy, Entourage, Season 2: The Boys Are Back in Town
Tagged: Patience, cultures, Flow, Sassy
“Sex, drugs, and salsa!”
— Vincent Chase, Entourage, Season 2: The Boys Are Back in Town
Tagged: Sex, Drugs, Salsa, Acting
“Ari: Chang Chung is the hottest director in Hong Kong. Tarantino has already decided he's the next guy he wants to steal from.


Vince: Cool. Guy must be good. Tarantino only steals from the best.”
— Vincent Chase, Entourage, Season 2: Chinatown
Tagged: Director, Tarantino, steal, best
“Gary Busey: You are a gut maggot with no guts.

Ari: Geez, you're gonna spin off this planet. I love it!”
— Ari Gold, Entourage, Season 1: Busey and the Beach
Tagged: Guts, Maggot, Insult, planet
“I know you. I know your strengths, I know your weaknesses.”
— Eric Murphy, Entourage, Season 1: New York
Tagged: Strengths, Weakness, Friendship
“Lets hug it out, you little bitch.”
— Ari Gold, Entourage, Season 1: New York
Tagged: Hug, Sassy, Attitude
“You wanted nothing to do with it, so I did it myself.”
— Turtle, Entourage, Season 1: New York
Tagged: Confidence, Taking Care Of Business
“My life is too good to be worried about shit like this.”
— Vincent Chase, Entourage, Season 1: New York
Tagged: Life is Good, worried
“I hate the beach. I hate the ocean. I hate the sand. But, I love sharks.”
— Ari Gold, Entourage, Season 1: Busey and the Beach
Tagged: beach, Ocean, Sand, Sharks
“You want a medal or are you a coward?”
— Ari Gold, Entourage, Season 1: Busey and the Beach
Tagged: Medal, coward, Question
“And what is emotional confusion, you ask? It's like running naked through a cornfield, backwards at midnight.”
— Gary Busey, Entourage, Season 1: Busey and the Beach
Tagged: Confusion, Emotional, Simile Examples, Runner, Naked
“You ever try to bang an extra on an apple box?”
— Ari Gold, Entourage, Season 1: Busey and the Beach
Tagged: Sex, bang, Movies, set, Extra
“I'm the fucking game, pal.”
— Johnny "Drama" Chase, Entourage, Season 1: Busey and the Beach
Tagged: Game, Pal, End Game
“Johnny: When I settle down, it's gonna be forever. 

Shauna: Mmm. Weren't you married once already?”
— Johnny "Drama" Chase, Entourage, Season 1: Talk Show
Tagged: married, Settle Down, Relationships, Sassy Lines
“Johnny: Break-up sex? Never heard of it.

Eric: Yeah, you know, you have sex and then that's it, you say goodbye.

Johnny: That's the only kind of sex I have.”
— Johnny "Drama" Chase, Entourage, Season 1: Talk Show
Tagged: Sex, breakup, Intimacy
“Eat your fruit loops and shut up.”
— Johnny "Drama" Chase, Entourage, Season 1: Talk Show
Tagged: Sassy, Fruit Loops, Quiet
“Winners don’t make excuses when the other side plays the game.”
— Harvey Specter, Suits, Season 7: Skin in the Game
Tagged: winners, excuses, Game
“Dilbert: What makes you qualified to be a reporter?

Dogbert: I'm willing to violate anyone's privacy for my personal gain and then claim with a straight face that the public has a right to know.

Dilbert: Have you been using me as your main source of industry information?

Dogbert: No, not the main source. I also make stuff up.”
— Dilbert / Dogbert (voice), Dilbert, Season 1: The Competition
Tagged: Journalism, Reporter
“Elaine: Where’s Kramer?

Jerry: Who knows? It’s like asking where’s Waldo.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 2: The Heart Attack
Tagged: Where's Waldo?
“Kramer: You’re  wasting your life.

George: I am not. What you call wasting, I call living. I’m living my life.

Kramer: OK, like what? No, tell me. Do you have a job?

George: No.

Kramer: You got money?

George: No.

Kramer: Do you have a woman?

George: No.

Kramer: Do you have any prospects?

George: No.

Kramer: You got anything on the horizon?

George: Uh, no.

Kramer: Do you have any action at all?

George: No.

Kramer: Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?

George: I like to get the Daily News.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 3: The Keys
Tagged: plans, Dreams, Prospects, hopes, Horizon
“Somewhere in this hospital, the anguished squeal of Pigman cries out!”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Bris
Tagged: Pigman, Squeal, hospital, Anguished
“I mean, Bozo the Clown...does he really need ‘the clown’ in his title, as clown? Bozo, ‘the’ clown? Are we going to confuse him with Bozo the district attorney? Bozo the pope? There's no other Bozo.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Fire
Tagged: Bozo the Clown, Clowns, Pope, Redundancy
“Yeah, yeah, then all of a sudden, this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay is gonna cost her her pinky toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, ‘Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?’ I said, ‘Well, I got a little prize for ya, buddy’—knocked him out cold!”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Fire
Tagged: Buses, fights, Cracker Jack, Violence
“Hey, nice shoes. What, you wear sandals to work? It's always nice to walk into a room and get the aroma of feet. That's real conducive to the work atmosphere. I'm sure your coworkers really appreciate it. 'Hey, let's go eat in Toby's office. Great idea! We can check on her bunions!'”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Fire
Tagged: Heckling, Foot Odor, Offices
“To me, the thing about birthday parties is that the first birthday party you have and the last birthday party you have are actually quite similar. You know, you just kinda sit there...you're the least excited person at the party. You don't even really realize that there is a party. You don't know what's goin' on.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Fire
Tagged: Birthdays, Birthday Parties, Infancy, Senility, old age
“Are you kidding, he's a mimbo, I know that…but he's my mimbo, you know even if he is a hideous freak maybe, maybe I can learn to love him, maybe in some final irony, I'll learn what love really is.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Stall
Tagged: Superficiality, Mimbo, Attraction, Love
“I really don't remember, I was kinda out of it for the first couple of days, I was on a lot of medications, it was kinda like a haze, it's pretty cool.”
— Tony, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Stall
Tagged: Mimbo, Pain Medication
“He's the first cool guy I've ever been friends with in my whole life. You know…it's a different world when you're with a cool guy, he's not afraid of anybody. You should hear the way he talks to waitresses…he gets free pie!”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Stall
Tagged: Male Bimbos, Alpha Males, Bromance
“Elaine, he's a…he's a male bimbo, he's a mimbo.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Stall
Tagged: Mimbo, Bimbo, Male Bimbo
“No, I don't have a square to spare, I can't spare a square.”
— Jane, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Stall
Tagged: Toilet Paper, Generosity
“This woman hates me so much. I'm starting to like her.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Masseuse
Tagged: Masochism, Attraction
“Yes! Yes! Everybody has to like me. I must be liked!”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Masseuse
Tagged: Being Liked, Insecurity
“Your boyfriend is a normal guy. He just happens to have the same name as one of the worst serial killers in the history of New York.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Masseuse
Tagged: Joel Rifkin, boyfriends, Serial Killers
“If there's a serial killer loose in your neighborhood, it seems like the safest thing is to be the neighbor. They never kill the neighbor. The neighbor always survives to do the interview afterwards. Right? ‘Oh, he was kind of quiet.’ I love these neighbors. They're never disturbed by the sounds of murdering, just stereo. Chainsaws, people screaming, fine. Just keep the music down.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Masseuse
Tagged: Serial Killers, Neighbors, Murder
“One more peep out of you and I'll slice you up like a smoked sturgeon.”
— The Mohel, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Bris
Tagged: Threats, Sturgeon
“Darling, you see where that glass is? How that glass is near the edge of the table. You got the whole table there to put the glass, why you chose the absolute edge, so half the glass is hanging off the table, you breathe and that glass falls over, then you're gonna have broken glass on the carpet, embedded in the carpet fibers, deep, deep in the shag, broken glass, bits of broken glass that you never get out. You can't get it out with a vacuum cleaner. Even on your hands and knees with a magnifying glass, you can't get all the pieces, and then you think you got it all and two years later, you're walkin' barefoot and you step on a piece of broken glass and you kill yourself, is that what you want?”
— The Mohel, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Bris
Tagged: Mohel, Circumcision, High-strung
“Did I find it all right? I mean could you send me to a more dangerous neighborhood? I'm dreading walking back to the subway, someone shouldn't crack me over the head and steal my bag, 'accuse I'll be lying there on the street in this neighborhood and people will spit on me and empty my pockets. I'll lie in the gutter like a bum, like a dog, like a mutt, like an animal! God forbid someone should help me or call an ambulance. No, that's too much trouble to pick up a phone and press a few buttons.”
— The Mohel, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Bris
Tagged: Ghettos, Slums, danger, Bad Neighborhoods, Robbery
“Is the baby gonna cry like that? Is that how the baby cries, with the loud, sustained, squealing cry, 'cause that could pose a problem. Do you have any control of your child 'cause this is the time to exercise it when baby is crying in that high-pitched, squealing tone that can drive you insane?”
— The Mohel, Seinfeld, Season 5: The Bris
Tagged: Circumcision, Mohel, Judaism
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